Do not think me gentle
because I speak in praise
of gentleness, or elegant
because I honor the grace
that keeps this world. I am
a man crude as any,
gross of speech, intolerant,
stubborn, angry, full
of fits and furies. That I
have spoken well
at times, is not natural.
A wonder is what it is.
A Warning to My Readers - Wendell Berry
Perhaps I owe everyone an explanation. Maybe I don’t.
But for all intents and purposes, I’m done with the blogosphere. I gave it a try for a three and a half years and I think I’m just done. I think I am just sick of it. It’s become predictable on what exactly will be said and who will take which sides and say certain things. I mean, as soon as I hit “submit” I pretty much know who is going to say what. And I think if everyone else was honest they’d admit the same thing. There’s been nothing new. Corey goes Pomo on everyone (sorry Corey, its true) with artsy language and fancy writing. Toby takes the opposite side of any subject that the Religious Right or Evangelicals are in an uproar about it, he’s going to dig it…a lot! If it’s a squishy subject with the same group, he’s going to take the other side. Every time. And then Gary, well, actually you know what, there was some change. Gary did come out of the closet. The atheist closet I should say. But I feel like I’ve known this for like 12 years. I greatly apologize for this Gary but this has kind of the same feeling to it as that kid in high-school (or maybe your uncle) everyone kind of thought, might be, kind of acts, *gulp* gay. You know, he says something once and awhile that makes you stop and think, but you say “nah, no way” and the other guys in the circle of friends kind of think it themselves but never out and out say it. And then the 10 year reunion happens and sure as monkey crap (that’s one of those odd phrases), they’re there and with their “partner.” It’s fully confirmed now, and you’re happy that they’ve come out and can go on from there, but you’re also bummed out that they gave into that inner turmoil. That they’ve made the wrong choice….
Wait?
You’re not bummed?
They didn’t make the wrong choice?
And that’s the problem. I am grieved, horribly, that Gary caved in and made this decision. And the collective response everyone had opposite this proves what I think I always knew, but needed this little three and a half experiment to prove.
I’m not Postmodern, I’m not Emergent, and I am very, very, very set in my ways. So much so, that I’ve actually been very out of character in the last couple of years in the blogosphere. I don’t get Pomo or Emergent and I don’t want to…at all, ever!!
This isn’t to say that I won’t converse with you and have an intelligent discussion with you. I am well capable of that. I have 2 college degrees from an accredited public university. You know the kind that makes you take 20% of your classes from the “diversity” catalogue of classes. I served as an Executive Officer on student government, the business club, and a National Fraternity. I’ve managed white-collar and blue-collar workers from all different kinds of nationalities and backgrounds and ethnicities. I’ve minored in Philosophy and Journalism. But to be honest, didn’t complete either of them. I like to talk, not postulate and write. I mean, this whole thing you are reading right now is written at 5th grade level!!! And I think I’m smart with 2 college degrees, and I write a 2300 word essay at a 5th grade level!
And through all of that, the number one book I use to shape my mindset and set of ideals is the B-I-B-L-E (yes that’s the book for me). Now, don’t get me wrong, I kind of suck at living it. But the Bible is the book. It is the guidepost, instruction book, how-to manual, reference guide, devotional, whatever good or bad designator you want to put on it, for me. Now obviously, culture plays a role in my life too, I wear khaki’s to work and blue jeans to church. I drive a car and drink coffee. I listen to the radio and watch TV. But I don’t let culture dictate my mindset. Influence, yes, obviously, anyone that says otherwise you probably shouldn’t listen too anymore. But not dictate, not be the final word on the matter. This is more than frameworks and artworks and good works.
See, Jesus didn’t operate in a postmodern mindset. That’s different than culture. Culture does change and evolve. But a mindset is different than that. Yes, Jesus went around as a radical. Hanging out with the folks in the margins AND hanging out with the established religion of the day. He was a guy that everyone wanted to hang with. Why else are the religious people always around? I know they tried to trip him up and take him to task on a lot of things. But he made them look bad…a lot. But they kept coming around and seeing what was going on.
He brought some radical teachings to the people of his lifetime. They were operating in one set of cultural norms and he was bringing them to another set of cultural norms. But his mindset was always the same…that of his own, which is to say of the Father. And within that he always “spit the truth.” Culture didn’t influence his mindset.
He told some people to leave it all behind and follow him, he told others to just believe in him. He spoke hard truths that resulted in thousands leaving him. He outed some people within the midst of their dysfunctional living and showed utter compassion and love to others in the midst of their dysfunction. He showed up at some places and partied and he showed up at other places and threw everyone out in a rage. He talked and conversed and asked questions and answered questions. He told awesome stories. He taught people, he amazed people. And he always, always, always made sure to tell everyone that he was the only way.
Way to what?
The Father. Not heaven, necessarily, or not a way to not get to hell, necessarily. A way to the Father. This is huge, because that was the purpose of our Creation. And at the fall, it was lost, all of it. But Jesus showed up and offers a way back to the Father. And that is the goal (if you will) of all of this.
I’m not trying to make this a heaven or hell argument. But, wherever God is, Jesus offers us a way to that is. And to not be with God is not good and is very, very, very bad. Call those heaven (with God) and hell (not with God) if you want to. As for me, I do. But in the end, I don’t really care if heaven (as we all know it to mean) exists and if hell (as we all know it to mean) exists. But in the end, we are judged. Those that went through Jesus get eternal life with God, those that did not, get eternal life without God, which includes being in the same “locale” with satan. And I have no doubts that that means eternal damnation and ultimately eternal torture. How different would life be if you knew, with every inch of your body, heart, mind, soul, and spirit that God was gone? Never to show himself to you in any context ever again? That is damnation and torture. Maybe it includes “hell fire”, maybe it doesn’t. I just know I want absolutely zero part of that.
Jesus taught love God, Jesus, your neighbor, and yourself but he makes it clear there are definite black and white sides to be taken by all of us. He most definitely teaches and commands, no, demands we believe in him and chose his side. And those sides are to be taken here in this lifetime. It’s about choosing Jesus, all of him. Even the parts about him that make you feel uncomfortable. It isn’t about how anyone of us feels or about what anyone of us experience. It isn’t about your worldview and my worldview. Sometimes things are black and white even though they cannot be explained. Sometimes science and faith mix and sometimes they don’t. That doesn’t remove black and white from the equation.
With the exception of a couple of you, this is not a big deal. For those that it is….uh….too bad. And to sound clichéd, I’m praying for you. And I am specifically praying that you will realize how wrong you are and the grave danger you are in. I’m not going to condemn you and for me to say “If you don’t believe you’re in trouble” is not condemning you. It’s just telling what is. Plain and simple. If my mom had told my brother and I to not hit each other in the head with a baseball bat or we are in trouble, and my brother hits me in the head and I tell him, You’re in trouble, I’m not judging him. That’s up to someone else, namely my mother. So, I am praying for anyone that doesn’t believe this. Sometimes it is by name and other times it is in generalities, but still the same. More than praying I am grieved for you.
For those of you with no problems so far. Then let me try and give you one to have with me. There are things that I believe that really aren’t open to debate, (yes…per the Bible) namely:
** Abortion is wrong.
** Sex outside of a husband and wife is wrong…all and any sex whether hetero or homo.
** Husbands are the head of the household. It doesn’t matter who makes the decision, the husband will answer for all of them. And this isn’t to say that men have more value than women, but equality does not work.
** Women shouldn’t be in a leadership role of the church that results in them teaching men.
** Professed, practicing homosexuals should have ZERO leadership in the church.
** Divorce? Sure, but you cannot get married again unless it is to your original spouse. Basically, except for death, we’re only allowed one spouse in this lifetime.
** Pastors should not agree to officiate the marriage of anyone that has been divorced.
** Church is a requirement for Christians.
** I think Jesus would vote if he were here today, and I think any pro-choice candidate would never be an option, no matter their other political beliefs.
I am sure there are a lot more things, but these are the real hot button issues that I have primarily engaged in within the blogosphere. Many of other subjects like pre-destination, Calvinism, rapture timing, etc…..I just do not care. People spout off Bible verses and teachings of profound authors over the centuries on both sides of the argument and throw in their own 2 cents and “feelings” on the matter. None of that matters to me on the basis of how I live my life. And, none of the stuff above appeals to me anymore to argue over them. To argue over any of the above is just stupid. It’s wasting our time. It’s an excuse to avoid the hard stuff and life Jesus calls us to live for him. I’m just about done fighting and arguing over the peripherals.
We just keep re-hashing the same arguments over and over. We keep taking the same sides of the argument over and over. We keep spinning our tires and taking up our time saying the same thing we’ve always said. At times I find enjoyment in that, and most times I do not. But to go over and over the same stuff is kind of like this essay has been. A rehashing of stuff you all already knew about me.
So why’d I do it? I don’t know, like I said in the beginning, maybe I wanted to offer an explanation? Maybe I wanted to remove any and all doubt as to where I stand? Maybe I wanted to feel good about myself? Maybe I really do like to argue but didn’t want to admit it? Maybe I’m trying to drum up comments to my blog? Maybe I wanted to remove my BS filter? Maybe I just needed to throw a temper tantrum like a 3rd grader? If everyone else can throw a temper tantrum over what, if any, prepositional phrase to put in front of the word “church”, to really make it “church” (I thought you just needed Jesus (who is everywhere so that’s easy) a couple people and a C, a H, a R, and a U…….you can do that playing Wheel of Fortune and get “church” and that’s in the bonus round where you can win $50,000 or a new car, or a trip to Fiji or something) can’t I throw one for the lunacy and absurdity that is blogging?
In the end, I’m still here. And I’m still going to pop up once and awhile. But first, I’m going to read my Bible and go to church, and pray for people who have and are turning their backs on Jesus. I am going to change my son’s dirty diaper and rub my wife’s feet and pull weeds from the garden. And after that, if I have time, I’ll blog. And even then, only if I want to.
As you can see, I have a lot of issues to get over……
NOAH MICHAEL
