You vote:
1) Choice 1
2) Choice 2
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Better Parenting?
The following article comes from a "professional" blog off of Yahoo! health. I am going to post the whole article here but also the link just in case. The article is right around 300 words so it is a quick read.
Anyway, it is based on the fact that once a husband and wife have children, the children DO NOT become the center of the universe. The marriage remains the center and focus. I do not know what study is referenced but, I am not a big fan of "studies" because you can find any "study" you want to match what you want to believe. But none the less, it is something Michele and I hear all the time. The kids become everything and the focus of everything. In some cases we have witnessed it with our respective families.
However, this is something that Michele and I have always said we are committed to doing. Keeping the marriage and our relationsip the focus and center. Obviously, with no experience, we say it and hope we do it. We'll find out in 3 weeks or less.
But those of you with kids, what do you say? What do you think?
Those of you without kids or have one on the way, what say you?
Here is the article (and the link)
Anyway, it is based on the fact that once a husband and wife have children, the children DO NOT become the center of the universe. The marriage remains the center and focus. I do not know what study is referenced but, I am not a big fan of "studies" because you can find any "study" you want to match what you want to believe. But none the less, it is something Michele and I hear all the time. The kids become everything and the focus of everything. In some cases we have witnessed it with our respective families.
However, this is something that Michele and I have always said we are committed to doing. Keeping the marriage and our relationsip the focus and center. Obviously, with no experience, we say it and hope we do it. We'll find out in 3 weeks or less.
But those of you with kids, what do you say? What do you think?
Those of you without kids or have one on the way, what say you?
Here is the article (and the link)
Believe it or not, couples who don't make their children the center of their universe end up raising healthier children. In being happy with each other, they give their kids the greatest gift of all: a solid marriage for them to learn from and, one day, replicate in their own lives. Not to mention, these couples save themselves in the process.
It's a radical concept these days to say "no" to the pressure to be a perfect parent. Three-year-olds are interviewed for the most coveted preschool because of the domino-effect -- the preschool determines the rest of school which determines college which determines the path of an adult's life. A bit much for both parent and child, wouldn't you say?
And if you're not gunning for the elite school, it's the after-school activities or the perfect home that is sucking all of your energy into its vortex.
A recent large-scale study found that 62% of women without children reported high marital satisfaction, while just 38% of mothers did so. The study also found that couples who became parents over the last decade experienced a drop in marriage satisfaction twice as large as that reported by parents in the 1960s and 1970s.
Today, women especially feel that if they are not giving everything of themselves -- emotionally, physically and logistically -- then they are not being good mothers. Raising kids is among the most important jobs there is, but so is nurturing a loving, happy relationship with your lifelong partner.
Instead of giving into the myth or the expectation that marriages lose their spark when the kids come around, we need to refocus our energies on the husband-wife relationship and nurture the passionate connection.
It's not easy and it's not common, but one day you'll thank yourself for doing it.
Love your children...with all your heart. But be in love with your husband or wife.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Why I like Music
Pandora internet Radio has shown what it is about music I like, or why I listen to it or pretty much what it is that makes me say Pearl Jam is my favorite band...EVER.
Maybe Gary will provide me with a psychoanalysis as he did for BJ Worth (which is how I first heard of all this).
Electric rock instrumentation, repetitive melodic phrasing, a vocal-centric aesthetic, major key tonality and a dynamic male volcaist.
Maybe Gary will provide me with a psychoanalysis as he did for BJ Worth (which is how I first heard of all this).
Monday, January 15, 2007
Amen!
"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men." - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Friday, January 12, 2007
C-Webb to Detroit? Absolutely!!
For those that do not know, I am NOT a Michigan fan. Oh sure, I am fair weather fan enough to cheer for them against USC and sometimes against Ohio St. but I am a Spartan. By the way, did you watch that Florida/Ohio St. football game on Monday. I thought Jim Tressel coached the Buckeyes? It sure looked like John Cooper and Lloyd Carr morphed into Jim Tressel. Ohio St was so unprepared for a big game (Cooperesque) and then made no adjustment in the 2nd half (Carresque). Crazy.
Anyway, just know that I do not eat the Michigan cornbread.
But Chris Webber coming to Detroit is a good thing and will probably happen for sure. He will probably go right into the starting lineup as our 5, replacing Nazr Mohammed. I think this is a good move.
It sets up Detroit to make a splash at the trade deadline with Flip Murray, Dale Davis, and 2 number 1 draft picks to this year's draft. That is alot and more than most teams, in a title contention, can offer any other team. The team really needs backcourt scoring off the bench. Blaylock and Hunter do not offer that at all. Webber does not address that need but aquiring him opens up the possibility to make the trade to get that.
Webber doesn't make Detroit the prohibitive favorite. It is not as much a slam-dunk as landing Sheed in 04 was, but it is a great move for a little over 1 million dollars. It is good to see a homeboy come back.
Anyway, just know that I do not eat the Michigan cornbread.
But Chris Webber coming to Detroit is a good thing and will probably happen for sure. He will probably go right into the starting lineup as our 5, replacing Nazr Mohammed. I think this is a good move.
It sets up Detroit to make a splash at the trade deadline with Flip Murray, Dale Davis, and 2 number 1 draft picks to this year's draft. That is alot and more than most teams, in a title contention, can offer any other team. The team really needs backcourt scoring off the bench. Blaylock and Hunter do not offer that at all. Webber does not address that need but aquiring him opens up the possibility to make the trade to get that.
Webber doesn't make Detroit the prohibitive favorite. It is not as much a slam-dunk as landing Sheed in 04 was, but it is a great move for a little over 1 million dollars. It is good to see a homeboy come back.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Why I Stick With the Church, cont...
Imagine a child coming home from school with a report card. It looks like this:
Mathematics - A+
English - B+
Reading - B+
Writing - A
Science - B
Phys Ed. - A
Wow, pretty impressive, decent grades. Lowest grade is a B and like most people it is in Science (or could be Math, but this kid can really think and problem solve with the best of them). He can write real well too and has a decent grasp of reading and talking.
Mom and Dad are happy and proud. They flip it over and read the teacher's comment. Now, they are beaming with pride and love for their child. This is exactly what they wanted to read about their child. I mean what parent wouldn't want to read these comments.
What could the comments have been? Glad you asked. We'll get to that later...
******************************************************************
Granted the first 1/3 of my life was in the Catholic church, but it could have been worse.
Granted, the second 1/3 of my life was in the Baptist church (the independent, fundamental, Bible-believing kind), but it could have been worse.
And now, I find myself in the Southern Baptist Church, so I didn't really "leave" the Baptist church, but it isn't the "crazy fundys", but it could be worse.
I could be in no church.
None at all.
And that I find to be disturbing.
See, I find it to be fact that if I cannot get along with the church, the fault lies with ME and not the church.
I know, groundbreaking and earth shattering stuff.
But that is the problem, not many people see it this way. There is this weird funk going on right now and permeating Christianity, especially professing Christians. People are teaching and being taught that the more spiritual people don't go to church, don't need church. Your spirituality is on such a plane that you are above the church. You're actually more spiritual to not go to church and get caught up in the politics and bueracracy, and hypocrisy, and the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Shut up already! Get over yourself.
How do you make it work with your family and your job and everything else you do?
Don't you realize that the message and the gospel is more important than your feelings or what you think and definitely more important than your "spirituality"?
We're humans and we screw everything up. If it is't screwed up yet, give it a second, it will be. Matter of fact, something probably just got screwed up as you were reading this. And that is life, that is why a Savior is required.
And that is the church. It is filled with humnas who aren't perfect and people who are beat down and bedraggled and a bunch of scaliwags, so what else would it become? Oh sure, there are some silver-spooners and well-to-do people, put I wouldn't say they are the norm. No matter, if I was a betting man, and I am, I would bet that they are all screwed up too. The church building is indictive of the church as well as a perfect picture of our body. Kept up so well outside and in its appearance, but inside it is filled with doubt and deep wounds with many creaks and moans that are only heard in the quiet or by those that know it all too well.
Is that why people stay away? They think they are better than that? They do not want to associate with those types of people?
Could be.
Possibily.
Probably.
Actually, it is.
******************************************************************
Remember, the kid with the report card and the comments. Here is the exact word-for-word teacher's comments:
******************************************************************
Kids.....
Hmmmm......
Mathematics - A+
English - B+
Reading - B+
Writing - A
Science - B
Phys Ed. - A
Wow, pretty impressive, decent grades. Lowest grade is a B and like most people it is in Science (or could be Math, but this kid can really think and problem solve with the best of them). He can write real well too and has a decent grasp of reading and talking.
Mom and Dad are happy and proud. They flip it over and read the teacher's comment. Now, they are beaming with pride and love for their child. This is exactly what they wanted to read about their child. I mean what parent wouldn't want to read these comments.
What could the comments have been? Glad you asked. We'll get to that later...
******************************************************************
Granted the first 1/3 of my life was in the Catholic church, but it could have been worse.
Granted, the second 1/3 of my life was in the Baptist church (the independent, fundamental, Bible-believing kind), but it could have been worse.
And now, I find myself in the Southern Baptist Church, so I didn't really "leave" the Baptist church, but it isn't the "crazy fundys", but it could be worse.
I could be in no church.
None at all.
And that I find to be disturbing.
See, I find it to be fact that if I cannot get along with the church, the fault lies with ME and not the church.
I know, groundbreaking and earth shattering stuff.
But that is the problem, not many people see it this way. There is this weird funk going on right now and permeating Christianity, especially professing Christians. People are teaching and being taught that the more spiritual people don't go to church, don't need church. Your spirituality is on such a plane that you are above the church. You're actually more spiritual to not go to church and get caught up in the politics and bueracracy, and hypocrisy, and the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Shut up already! Get over yourself.
How do you make it work with your family and your job and everything else you do?
Don't you realize that the message and the gospel is more important than your feelings or what you think and definitely more important than your "spirituality"?
We're humans and we screw everything up. If it is't screwed up yet, give it a second, it will be. Matter of fact, something probably just got screwed up as you were reading this. And that is life, that is why a Savior is required.
And that is the church. It is filled with humnas who aren't perfect and people who are beat down and bedraggled and a bunch of scaliwags, so what else would it become? Oh sure, there are some silver-spooners and well-to-do people, put I wouldn't say they are the norm. No matter, if I was a betting man, and I am, I would bet that they are all screwed up too. The church building is indictive of the church as well as a perfect picture of our body. Kept up so well outside and in its appearance, but inside it is filled with doubt and deep wounds with many creaks and moans that are only heard in the quiet or by those that know it all too well.
Is that why people stay away? They think they are better than that? They do not want to associate with those types of people?
Could be.
Possibily.
Probably.
Actually, it is.
******************************************************************
Remember, the kid with the report card and the comments. Here is the exact word-for-word teacher's comments:
Doesn't play well with others and refuses to interact with the rest of the class.
******************************************************************
Kids.....
Hmmmm......
Monday, January 08, 2007
Oh Come On......
Take a look at the statement below and see if you can figure out what Ann Killion was referring too?
So what could it be?
I think that even if I gave you 4 more tries at guessing you'd be wrong.
Ms. Killion is a columnist for the San Jose Mercury News and holds the pretigious position of being a voting member for the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame.
With Mark McGwire's inclusion on the 2007 ballot, we have officially entered the Let's Blackball the Potential-Steroids-Guy Era.
McGwire had his shot at a public redemption ... and called for an intentional walk. Some writers won't vote for McGwire because he probably used steroids -- keep in mind there's never been proof that he did, other than a visible bottle of andro and those 130+ pounds of muscle he added from 1990 to 2002 -- which would be fine if they weren't so pious about it. Not content with simply dismissing McGwire's candidacy and moving on, they need to climb on their high horses and rip the guy to shreds. We're supposed to believe they would refuse the chance to take a drug that would enable them to do their job twice as well and make 10 times as much money? Yeah, right.
These people have now become the self-proclaimed moral judges of baseball, and they need you to know that Big Mac cheated, disgraced the game, deceived the public, tainted the record books and pushed the sport into a spiritual free fall. They rush to tell you that they can't vote for McGwire because their conscience won't allow it. Ms. Killion, being one of these individuals, wrote that she can't vote for McGwire because she wouldn't be able to explain it to her kids.
She concluded her column with this:
Look, our country is screwed up. Whether we like it or not, people will always gamble, use illegal drugs, drink and drive, cheat on their spouses, cheat on tests, lie and steal, ditch their families, swear and fight, use performance-enhancing drugs. Banishing Mark McGwire from Cooperstown isn't going to make any of that go away. Let's stop pretending that the Baseball Hall of Fame is a real-life fantasy world -- a place where we celebrate only the people and events we can all unanimously agree deserve to be celebrated -- and transform it into an institution that reflects both the good and bad of the sport. Wait -- wasn't that Cooperstown's mission all along? Shouldn't it be a place where someone who knows nothing about baseball can learn about its rich history? Isn't it a museum, after all?
Imagine if the rest of the world worked like this. Word is, JFK cheated on his wife. Should we change the name of the airport and remove all his memorabilia from the Smithsonian?
Forget the fact that there were no testing procedures in place to catch him. If he took steroids, he did break the rules. All that does is give him something in common with Hall of Famers like admitted ball doctorer Gaylord Perry and Ty Cobb, a virulent racist who deliberately tried to hurt other players and was accused of fixing at least one game. Are we really going to play the morality card for Big Mac when Cobb is in the Hall?
I hate to break the news to Ann Killion's kids, but people have been cheating in baseball for decades. They've fixed games, stolen signs, corked bats, slimed balls, popped greenies and, yes, injected steroids and rubbed HGH cream. We're told that baseball is America's pastime, the implication being that it mirrors real life. And you know what? It's true. A long time ago, Babe Ruth showed us that athletes, like everyone else, are imperfect. More recently, Rose hammered home the point for any of us who might have forgotten it. What did McGwire make clear? That human beings are always searching for an edge, and when they find it, they use it.
We'll find out tomorrow (Tuesday) when the list of indctees is announced.
"Can I look my kids in the eyes when I tell them whom I selected?"The first, second, third, and maybe even fourth thoughts that popped into your heads are all wrong. While your thoughts may have focused on possible governmental candidates for various positions she may have been consdiering, you couldn't be further from the truth. But, I do know most of you are astute readers and probably think I have sarcasm to accompany this qoute and because I own a computer, can type, and have my own blog, I feel like I have the authority to speak to the subject matter. To which I say, right on. You are correct.
So what could it be?
I think that even if I gave you 4 more tries at guessing you'd be wrong.
Ms. Killion is a columnist for the San Jose Mercury News and holds the pretigious position of being a voting member for the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame.
With Mark McGwire's inclusion on the 2007 ballot, we have officially entered the Let's Blackball the Potential-Steroids-Guy Era.
McGwire had his shot at a public redemption ... and called for an intentional walk. Some writers won't vote for McGwire because he probably used steroids -- keep in mind there's never been proof that he did, other than a visible bottle of andro and those 130+ pounds of muscle he added from 1990 to 2002 -- which would be fine if they weren't so pious about it. Not content with simply dismissing McGwire's candidacy and moving on, they need to climb on their high horses and rip the guy to shreds. We're supposed to believe they would refuse the chance to take a drug that would enable them to do their job twice as well and make 10 times as much money? Yeah, right.
These people have now become the self-proclaimed moral judges of baseball, and they need you to know that Big Mac cheated, disgraced the game, deceived the public, tainted the record books and pushed the sport into a spiritual free fall. They rush to tell you that they can't vote for McGwire because their conscience won't allow it. Ms. Killion, being one of these individuals, wrote that she can't vote for McGwire because she wouldn't be able to explain it to her kids.
She concluded her column with this:
"All I can do is cast my own vote judiciously. And be able to look my kids in the eyes when I do it."Ann, I'm glad you're such a thoughtful mom. Seriously, that's great. But a vote for McGwire isn't exactly an endorsement of drug use. And anyway, part of our country's problem is the shortsighted way we "protect" our kids from life's harsh realities. Janet Jackson's nipple slip was such a traumatic moment for Americans that some live sporting events now run on tape-delay, and Howard Stern fled to SIRIUS to escape the clutches of the increasingly fascistic FCC. Meanwhile, any kid can glimpse Britney's crotch if he or she is even remotely familiar with Google, and anyone can be slandered anonymously on a blog or message board.
Look, our country is screwed up. Whether we like it or not, people will always gamble, use illegal drugs, drink and drive, cheat on their spouses, cheat on tests, lie and steal, ditch their families, swear and fight, use performance-enhancing drugs. Banishing Mark McGwire from Cooperstown isn't going to make any of that go away. Let's stop pretending that the Baseball Hall of Fame is a real-life fantasy world -- a place where we celebrate only the people and events we can all unanimously agree deserve to be celebrated -- and transform it into an institution that reflects both the good and bad of the sport. Wait -- wasn't that Cooperstown's mission all along? Shouldn't it be a place where someone who knows nothing about baseball can learn about its rich history? Isn't it a museum, after all?
Imagine if the rest of the world worked like this. Word is, JFK cheated on his wife. Should we change the name of the airport and remove all his memorabilia from the Smithsonian?
Forget the fact that there were no testing procedures in place to catch him. If he took steroids, he did break the rules. All that does is give him something in common with Hall of Famers like admitted ball doctorer Gaylord Perry and Ty Cobb, a virulent racist who deliberately tried to hurt other players and was accused of fixing at least one game. Are we really going to play the morality card for Big Mac when Cobb is in the Hall?
I hate to break the news to Ann Killion's kids, but people have been cheating in baseball for decades. They've fixed games, stolen signs, corked bats, slimed balls, popped greenies and, yes, injected steroids and rubbed HGH cream. We're told that baseball is America's pastime, the implication being that it mirrors real life. And you know what? It's true. A long time ago, Babe Ruth showed us that athletes, like everyone else, are imperfect. More recently, Rose hammered home the point for any of us who might have forgotten it. What did McGwire make clear? That human beings are always searching for an edge, and when they find it, they use it.
We'll find out tomorrow (Tuesday) when the list of indctees is announced.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Update on My life
"I'm going to die someday." - Me
Not quite the glowing update you may have been expecting. But alot has been going on lately. Things/life has been so very fast for Michele and I over the last couple of months. No doubt the biggest reason is that we have a child that is roughly 5 weeks away from entering our household. Throw in the Holidays, which always move fast, and the phenomanon that we all feel that time is "flying by" and I think I have a grasp on what the speed of light feels like. This fact is compounded further since yesterday was Michele's and mine 4 year wedding anniversary. 4 years! Hard to believe. Additonally, in less than 2 weeks, I'll celebrate my 9th year in the 20s. Yep, that puts me on the front porch of 30 and knocking on the door. WOW!
But yet, Michele and I aren't even half way to a decade of marriage and even 10% to the magical number of 50. Also, I am not even half way to the retirement age of 65. So time appears to be "flying by" but is it really? There is still so much to go and so much to do. As my life reaches these milestones it actually becomes exciting to me. Something new is going to happen and I am going to be able to enjoy and do the things I like again. Some may say I haven't had my moment of self-realization or an "epiphany" like others. But I have, the first time I realized I was going to die.
Do not get me wrong, I still feel trepidation and my nerves go crazy when I begin to think about death and that more than likely my internal clock will hit triple zeros. Some nights it grips more than others. My breathing gets very shallow and my heart beats so fast, I feel it could explode. Probably on the verge of hyperventilating.
But so what. That's the what I want to get to...So What.
Many nights I stay awake contemplating death and realizing I do not want to die. Realizing that I love my wife too much and enjoy sex with her too much. Realizing I like laughing at funny jokes and eating grilled chicken slathered in BBQ sauce. Realizing I like sleeping in on Saturday mornings and rising early on Sunday with a hot, dark cup of coffee and a good book. Realizing I love my family and the family-wide reunions and get togethers we have. Realizing there are things I still want to do and enjoy for the first time. Hug my child, experience life as a grandparent, actually retire from work. Realizing life is good and I am fortunate to have such a life that I do not want to die, ever. But I still fall asleep, get up every morning and live another day in the life of Brian. Enjoying new pleasures and life milestones. Getting another day to experience life and get one day closer to some of things above I hope to do someday.
New updates to add to my life and share with the people around me I love and care for. New updates I can add to those same people's life by being a friend and being a family member and being a loved one to them. Maybe the threat of death is one of the greatest motivations to the how and why I chose to live my life.
And I am not sure that is a good thing, but is it a bad thing?
I do not know.
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