On the banks of the red river......

For those that do not know, that is the opening line to the Michigan State University Spartan fight song. No, I did not go there, I went to college about an hour north of there at Central Michigan. That song starts, "FIGHT, Central down the field,..."

Anyway, tomorrow (10/1) MSU and UM will meet up in East Lansing. It is always a fun game and even better when played in East Lansing. Myself, my wife, her sister and husband, their brother, my brother, his fiance, and my uncle in additon to other friends will all descend on East Lansing tomorrow. Departing metro Detroit around 5am. We'll bring in plenty of Green and White as well as food, beverage, TVs, satellite dishes, stereos, games, etc. Think of when you have a family/friends BBQ and you plan everything at your house. Except we are doing it in East Lansing and it includes breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

We'll be wearing Green and White, the ladies are going to have little green 'S' on their cheeks, and the fight song will be played routinely. Some of us will go to the game (only 6 or 7 tickets for 20 people, but all have fun with the tailgating) and scream until we can barely talk. We'll talk "trash" to UM fans and scream some more. If MSU wins more joy and adulation. If they lose disappoinment and second guessing.

We'll pack up the tailgate and head home around 7pm. Tired, sore, full, and I can honestly say, regardless of the game, happy with life and the day we had. I can barely contain myself writing it here. Experience has told me that the game plan for tomorrow is fun, fun, fun.

I write all this because it lends itself to being a "fanatic." We here it all the time. I am a fanatic for this or that. Tens of thousands of people pack sporting venues across America (and the world, especialy with Soccer). Millions more sit in front of their TVs. Many wear jerseys, team colors, painted faces, get up at 5am on a weekend, spend a whole Saturday on one team. Many times, these "fans" (root word for FANatic) will never even meet the athletes they cheer on so joyously and whole-heartedly. Yet it is socially acceptable for this obession and fanaticism (is that a word?) to go on. So much so, that, if we see someone wearing the "other" teams colors or logo we can scream, yell, and holler at them. They can nod back and everyone calls it good and nods in approval (and enjoyment).

Now, take the term "religious fanatic." Whoa, that is a cold, ruthless, term. We'll let people rant and rave and party over their sports team, but I make a comment about abortion, evolution, or express my Salvation and I am "one of those religious fanatics." I am not open minded and will hear no one out. I always think/say I am right and am holy than everybody. Obviously, I come no where close to believing that, but many do. Even without getting to know me or having a conversation with them. Yet, we let people slde on their sports fanaticism (there's that word again) and close-mindness:

"They can't help themselves."
"They went to school their, or that is the city they grew up in."
"It's no big deal. That's taking to the extreme don't you think?"

You're right it is no big deal, but where you spend eternity is! If I wear a Christian T-shitrt or read my Bible at lunch, I am a "Jesus Freak."

Today I wore a green and white shirt to work and emailed some UM fans the MSU fight song. The response was pretty much rolling of the eyes and whatevers. Not, I am a freak, or fanatic. I do not want to hear that garbage. Etc.

Right on Brian, you are so right. What a horrible inconsistency that is.

Hold on, I am not done........

Unfortunately, I think mahy times, we Christians fall into the same trap. More likely to express our fandom for a sports team than for Jesus. We'll overhear a sharp comment about the church or Christianity and not even respond to it or shrug it off. But get an email or hear a comment about your favorite team and you'll fire something back. I know I am guilty of it many times.

Do not take for granted the fact that you think others take for granted the fact that you are Christian.

What was that?

Meaning, you've let people know you are a believer. Do not assume they will always remember that or come to you in time with questions or when you think they think they are ready for salvation. We have to make sure to ALWAYS remind people of this. I do not mean we remind in terms of going around making off comments like a high-schooler. but our actions, and conversation, and the way we present ourselves tells them all this, on a daily basis.

It's ok to be a fan of your team and celebrate their achievements and wear your school colors. But make sure to wear God's colors and fly his flag as well. God's team should be Team A, everything else afterwards.

Have fun, enjoy the football season and GO GREEN

My prediction - MSU - 40 UM - 20

Until next time

Brian

Stop me if you've heard this one......

It is 1993, early summer/late spring. The Mississippi river flood is in full swing. Water is everywhere. It is the worse flood in the US ever!!!! (Just Google 1993 Mississippi River Flooding and you'll get over 620,000 hits)

Anyway, a man answers his phone and his best friend is on the other line.

"Dude, I am coming to get you in 30 minutes with my F-150. Pack some clothes, my sister says we can stay with her."

He replies, "No thank you, the Lord will provide me a way out. Thank you and God Bless."

His friend confirms this and hangs up.


Later that evening, the man is standing on his porch as a bus full of evacuees drives by. The flood waters are just taking out some surface streets.

The driver stops and tells the man, "Get in, I'll drive you to high ground."

Man responds, "No, the Lord will provide me a way out. Thank you and God Bless."

Bus driver nods their head and drives away.


Next morning, the flood waters are up to the porch and the man is forced on to the roof of his garage. A group of people come by in a boat and offer him a ride to safety.

The man replies back, " No thanks, the Lord will provide me a way out. Thank you and God Bless."

The person driving the boat, insists. "The news said all our house will be under water before nightfall." "Come on lets go, it'll take a small miracle to get through this."

Our man tells the boat driver, "With God all things are possible."

Driver of the boat shakes his head and speeds off to safety.


Sure enough, 12 hours later. The water is up to the rooftops of the houses and our man is now on the roof of his house. He is the only person left in his neighborhood. A helicopter flying above spots him and the driver gets on his bull horn and tells the guy he'll drop a ladder, grab it, and he'll fly him to dry ground.

Our man again declines, he waves off the helicopter, screaming as loud as he can, "The Lord will provide me a way out of this." "With God all things are possible."

The pilot hovers for a couple more minutes trying to talk to the guy stuck on the rooftop but getting no where. He realizes it is a lost cause and flies away. While doing so, he radios the Coast Guard and tells them what just happen.

The Coast Guard scramble a rescue helicopter and a mission. It is now nightfall, and many houses are completely submerged in water. The Coast Guard crew is convinced the man is gone, but lo and behold the man is perched atop his chimney!! Still alive. The copter approaches and one of the CG guys attaches himself to a ladder and is lowered to the man. The man immediately starts to wave off the Coast Guard.

As the rescue person gets there, he tells the guy to grab on and hold on. Our man refuses again saying, "The Lord will provide me a way out, no miracle is too big for God." The CG demands the guy grab onto him. The man refuses and remains firm and confident. The CG member reaches out and grabs the guy, the man moves back, loses his footing and falls into the flood waters never to be seen again.


The man dies, goes to heaven and sees God. He then asks God, "Why didn't you provide me a way out?"

God answers back, "I did!" I offered you a pick-up truck, a school bus, a boat, a helicopter, and a Coast Guard rescue mission." You refused them all!"

************************************************************************************

Hahaha, ok, ok, stop rolling your eyes. Think about this. The US just went through Katrina and now Rita is barrelling in on Texas. People remain behind!!! Can you believe it? Some are because of them being poor or having no way out. However, many others are staying because they are stubborn. Many of these people are saying exactly the same think the man in my (long) joke was saying. Just this morning, on the radio, they interviewed a family staying behind. There comment was, "The Lord's will is what will happen." "He'll get us through this." "He will provide for us."

Yeah, he has provided, paved highways, higher ground, vehicles that have round wheels and engines and move rather quickly, emergnecy vehicles, etc., etc., etc.. So, he has provided his way out. He has performed a miracle.

Technology has allowed us to predict the hurricane's path and when it will hit (satellites and meteorology). To get that message out to people in the blink of an eye (TV and radio) And to provide a ways and means for us to get out of dodge rather quickly (automobiles, planes, helicopter, bikes, mopeds, whatever). Yet people remain behind. And many claim God will provide them a way out.

He already has.

These are the "fundamentals" that take things way to literally. They are enamoured with the Biblical stories of great miracles and stories of Lion's Den, fiery furnances, resurrections, harrowing escapes, and mighty war victories and so on. All amazing, TRUE, stories.

But did:

Moses mom keep Moses alive by keeping him for herself and claiming God will provide, or did she float him down the river and claim God will provide.

When Jonathan warned David of Saul's wrath and intention to kill him, did David still live his normal life and go meet Saul claiming God would provide, or did he go into hiding and claim God will provide.

What about the woman with the terminal illness in the New Testament? She heard Jesus was coming to town. She knew he could cure her. All she had to do was touch his garment. Did she just sit there and wait for a miracle to happen and Jesus would seek her out and heal her? No, she did something for herself and sought him out, fought the crowds, crawling on her feet, reached as far as her arm could and her fingertips grabbed his garment. She was healed immediately. Jesus even felt the energy leave his body.

These are just 3 well known instances where miracles and situations happen in the Bible where the individual didn't just sit there and not heed the warnings or use their own abilities to make something happen and were made better off for it.

But, for those of you that insist on the miracle aspect of things and God's mighty will and ways, I ask you this:

Isn't the ability to see the atmosphere of our earth as it is happening, watching it with your eyes from thousands of miles away, the ability to fly, moving in a transport vehicles powered by more than 2 horses, and paved, straight roads, great miracles of the natural resourecs God has given us on this planet?

I think so.

As I said before, I do consider myself a fundamentalist (My very first post on this blog). But these situations and stories upset me. This isn't how things work. This is not taking the Bible literal.

You do not stand blindly in the face of danger and expect God to perform a life altering, mind-blowing miracle. Especially, when the simple, everyday things are all around for you to use to get out of danger.

That being said, please pray for everyone down in the gulf coast. They do need them.

Until then, God speed and He always provides a way.

Brian

Donkeys and Elephants

Thank you Time Magazine. This week's edition had a great article on what went wrong in New Orleans. They examined the Mayor, Governor, Mike Brown (Director of FEMA, well now ex-director), and Secretary Chertoff (Department of Homeland Security). How they made mistakes and failed across the board. They spread the blame between the state and federal governments.

To me this is shocking but right on. However, I expect Time to get lambasted on the article. Why? you ask. Why do I find this so shocking? Simple, because it doesn't target anyone specifically on either side of the political spectrum. The elephants will be outraged because how can you question the people put in charge by the President to handle these scenarios. The donkeys will be flippin' po'ed big time because Time did not come right out and name Bush as the problem.

But really, who cares. Mistakes were made everywhere. Officials and authorities responded to many of those shortcomings and at 9pm our President will speak to this to some extent.

*side note*, I am fighting a horrible cold right now so I doubt I will stay up to watch this speech tonight. I need sleep heading into the weekend.

One thing I hate about the political structure is the insanely strict partisanship that is going on right now. "Damn it, if you are a Republican, conservative, Democrat, liberal, you better be all of it or you are as bad as the 'other side'!" I hear it all the time. It is out of control.

If you are a registered Democrat, you are expected AND HAD BETTER disagree and protest with every initiative that comes from the White House. You must hang on every word that Hillary, Kennedy, and Reid say.

As a Republican (like myself), I am expected AND HAD BETTER agree and fight for every initiative that comes from the White House. Every word that Bush, Lott, and McCain say is iron clad!!!

Why? This is a country founded on a Decleration of Independence, a Constitution, and a Bill of Rights that promote individual freedom, expression, and happiness. Where is my individuality when I have to tow the party line? Yes, I have 2 signs in my yard:

One supports our troops and President Bush. Which, if you interpret to mean I am in support of the war on terrorism AND Iraq, you are correct.

The other is supporting Bush on Social Security reform. I agree with his plan. Not because it is George W. Bush saying it, but because his plan will give me a choice to do what I want with the money I put into Social Security. I can keep on doing the same old, same old; or I can take the money designated for social security and invest it to get more money.

These are 2 issues I feel strongly on. A couple I do not feel strongly on are how he handles taxes, I am skeptical of the Haliburton issue, and I do not know enough about John Roberts. I don't go around blindly accepting these issues and agreeing with everything that the Republicans print and publish.

I know people who call me a liberal (or at least no better than) for using Heinz ketchup and drinking Coke. I am serious!! Serious!!

People are so anti-Bush and so filled with hatred, that people voted this election because, "they wanted anybody but Bush!" Do you realize how ignorant this sounds? They don't care about taxes, healthcare, social security, environment, etc., etc. Just that "as long as George W. Bush is not president, then I am happy." I mean come on.

Hopefully, by now, I am sure you can tell my frustration with this. Not everything coming from the right is correct but it is not all bad either and going to end the world. Not everything from the left is incorrect but most of it is :)

Until next time

Brian

4 Years

We all know what happened 4 years ago. I am not talking about the day of 9/11. OK, maybe I am to an extent. Specifically, I am talking about 9/12. The day after. When we all woke up and wondered what was going to happen with the rest of our lives? How was it going to change? Who in the heck was the Usama Bin Laden guy? What had happened overnight? I am sure many people, like myself, fell asleep with the TV on. Just waiting for something else to happen.

I started thinking back to 9/12, and while I cannot bring back every thought I had that morning and throughout the day, I can bring back events in my life that happened. What I discovered was 4 years does not seem like that long ago, but yet it does. So many events and situations have transpired since then, but I can still remember the exact moment I watched a Boeing 767 fly from the left side of my TV screen slam right into the South Tower. Was it bad editing? Did CNN (I had not yet discovered Fox News) screw up in showing a replay of the plane that hit earlier? Wait, there are people really screaming on TV, and the news anchor just freaked out on TV. No way!!! A second plane just hit the other tower!! It is all just so recent in my memory.

So to answer some of my own questions I asked myself the morning of September 12, here I go:

• I went to all my classes that day
• I graduated Central Michigan University in December, with no job.
• I moved to Lincoln Park, MI and lived with my uncle.
• I proposed to my girlfriend, Michele, at Christmas, with no job.
• January, I had an interview with Airborne Express.
• I watched the Super Bowl halftime show that featured U2 and it cemented U2 as one of favorite bands.
• I finally got a job after college and worked for Airborne Express on 02/18/02.
• Bought my first car, a 1999 Contour. Still have it......
• Bought my uncle's house in May of 2002. Still live there.......
• Planned a wedding thoughout 2002.
• Married on 01/04/03
• Went through a merger and aquistion at my job as Airborne Express was bought by DHL.
• Started a new job with Insight Network Logistics on, oddly enough 02/18/05.
• 05/28/05, my wife and I find out she is pregnant with our first child
• Sometime between 07/09/05 and 07/11/05 my wife and I experienced a miscarriage.
• I just spent the last weekend in Cleveland at the Rock Financial 20 year anniversary party. Due to my wife's All-Star persona, we were able to meet Mike Brown (coach of the Cavaliers), LeBron James (NBA Megastar), and Kid Rock.

So those are some of the events that have happened since then. That is actually a lot. Marriage, first home purchase, first car purchase, 2 jobs, almost my first child. Which is why 4 years ago seems so far away. Other events in my life that have transpired of note include:

• I have flown multiple times, both domestic and international since 9/12.
• One of those times I was flagged for a full search of myself and luggage. I thanked the TSA agent when he was done for doing his job. I seriously meant it.
• My brother served in the resulting war.
• I lost one of my best friends from high-school as a reult of the war on terrorism.
• I have become more involved in politics (extensively involved) and have grasped onto the 24/7 all news all the time that the internet and all the various news agencies now offer.
• Some days I completely forget about 9/11. Most days I do not.
• The pictures, videos, TV specials, and all other media around 9/11 I cannot get enough of and will watch it all whenever I can.

These are all instances and circumstances as a result of that day and to a part answer some of the questions I had that morning.

In essence, my life has continued on. I was able to live out a part of the American dream that many others have been able to do and many others died to make sure I could. I have had some inconviences and tense moments in my life. I've changed some of my plans and second guessed myself on some instances. All as a result of 9/11. But this is life. This is what happened and as much as I'd want my friend back, or wish I could get out of the all news all the time scenario I so often find myself in, it is what it is. Whose to say that if 9/11 hadn't happened, that anything would be different? I'll never know, we'll never know. People get married, people die, people travel, and life goes on. I am not trying at all to diminsh 9/11 and what happen because all of our lives have changed as a result. But it is something we cannot change.

As much of an effect 9/11 had on our lives, everything still comes back to living our lives for Jesus, others, and ourselves. Sometimes we lose this focus as world events take place (like right now with Katrina). We all should give support and offer prayers for all peoples involved with Katrina. But we should never lose focus on the people around us and make sure to keep them close. Because when the news flashes are over and we resume our normal lives, that's what continues...our normal lives. Spouses, children, moms, dads, cousins, girlfriends, boyfriends, aunts, uncles, and grandparents are there for us. Our job, the mortgage, cutting the grass, and cooking dinner still have to be done on a regular consistent basis.

4 years have gone by in a flash, let's pray that the next 4 can slow down a bit and allow us all to savor life a lot more and focus on Jesus, our family, friends, and our normal lives.

Until next time,

Brian

Correction

I feel I should explain something from my last post.

My comment about a church wide bible-study may be misleading. Actually, what it is is this:

Our church does not have a Wednesday night service at the church. There are about 6 or 7 houses spread out through our church family that host Bible studies on Wednesday evening. At each location is a teacher and we have a Bible Study for whoever in the church or community comes by. The idea is to become more active in the community and draw people into the Bible and Jesus that would usually stay away from church.

We call these gatherings "Life Groups." As I said, each Life Group has a teacher and all Life Groups are studying the same Bible passages and overall teaching lesson, but they are tailored to the people in attendance and as that discussion moves along.

So my wife and I use our house as a host house and others come over and hold the Bible study at our house.

Another goal of the Life Groups is to grow in a big size that requires it to split off and form another one at someone else's house with a different teacher. So, in our case, say we grow to 20 regular attendees. Half of them or so would splinter off with a different teacher and start their own Life Group. With both continuing to grow and producing more and more Life Groups. The idea is to follow very closely to how the original Christians did it in the New Testament with Paul, Silas, Peter, John, and the others planting and growing churches all over.

I'd be happy to converse with others on this if they want to. It takes a lot to get the church membership on board, especially the people "stuck" in tradition of going to the church on Wednesday evenings (THE CHURCH IS NOT OPEN AT ALL ON WEDNESDAY...you have to go to a Life Group house to attend Wednesday night church). Additionally, the church leadership has to trust in God and prayerfully make the right decisions on who hosts and who teaches, as they are a voice for the church.

Until next time

Brian

MY PERCEPTION

I once tried to keep a journal. Early part of last year (2004). It lasted for a little over a month. I wrote in it maybe every 2 or 3 days. I didn't like writing in the journal. I do like expressing my thoughts and ideas. But writing hurts my hand when I start to go really fast. Additionally, I would get a head of myself and forget my thoughts. Basically, I got discouraged and quit.

Now I am trying this avenue. Hopefully with a better turnout from myself. Typing is much easier than writing and I can work on my writings over a space of time.

So, I thought my first post would be about me. I am doing this to accomplish a couple things:

1. Anyone who reads this will have a better understanding of myself.
2. I will have a better understanding of myself.
3. How will my thoughts and ideas change next week, next month, or 5 years from now?

My posts (or blogging, if you will) can and will be on anything at any one time. But, mostly on My Perception of things going on. Do not confuse this title or my decision on writings to lend you to think I am an egomaniac or my ideas are always right. I am not and they are not. But when most people (99% I dare say) do things like this they are giving you their perception on the matter no matter what that is. So without further adieu.......

• I am a born again Christian...
• I belong to a Southern Baptist Church http://www.hopefoundhere.com is their website
• I believe I am a fundamentalist, however, I find nothing wrong with drinking, dancing, and going to the movies. Obviously, I take part in all of these activities.
• I also have a problem with cussing/swearing, whatever you want to call it. I do it way too much.
• The Bible is the divine written word of God.
• Evolution is junk as is Intelligent Design, but I'll take ID over Darwin.
• I attended a private, very strict, Baptist High School.
• I attended and graduated from Central Michigan University.
• I joined a National Social Fraternity while there: http://www.phikappatau.org
• I served as Vice President, Recruitment chair, and Athletics chair.
• The private, very strict, Baptist High School did not like my decison to attend CMU and I wonder if I would be accepted back?
• Every Wednesday night, my wife (Michele) and I host a church wide Bible Study at our house.
• I still wonder if the private, very strict, Baptist High School would allow me back in their doors.
• John Eldrdge's book "Wild at Heart" is right on. Donald Miller's "Blue Like Jazz" was like reading a near autobiography on myself, except I am not an author like him and cannot live his lifestyle.
• I would buy those 2 books for anyone that asked me to. BUT THEY WOULD HAVE TO READ THEM AND DISCUSS THEM WITH ME.

• I am a conservative and a proud and contributing member to a vast right wing conspiracy.
• I have a "Support Our Troops and President Bush" sign in the front yard of my very blue-collar, Teamster/UAW dominated downriver Detroit neighborhood.
• I have voted for Bob Dole and George W. Bush to be my president.
• Bill Clinton was a good president, but did nothing his last 2 years in office and that is why the economy is where it is today.
• Well wait, he did lie to a grand jury and was impeached. That is a lot to accomplish.
• I have voted for Democrats at the state and federal level.
• A McCain/Guliani ticket in 2008 would be 8 years too late but still worth it.

• Ann Coulter is as ugly as sin.
• Michael Savage is an utter idiot.
• Rush is not!
• Alan Combs is a puppet for Fox News.
• James Carville scares me....he is too smart.
• Bill O'Rielly is a pompous @&%@ but usually always right.
• Obviously I like Fox News and only watch CNN during a commercial.
• Which reminds to get TiVo because I really hate turning on CNN.
• Which further reminds me that all network news and media outlets are biased with Fox News being the only one on the right
• I will miss Peter Jennings and watching "World News Tonight."
• I will miss Dennis Miller even more. His show should never have been cancelled (on MSNBC or CNBC, whichever peacock station it was) and it further shows, America cannot handle the thruth.
• Bernard Goldberg's book "100 People Who are Screwing Up America (And Al Franken is #37)" is right on.
• Michael Moore is the biggest jackhole ever. I regret admitting I paid to see "Bowling for Columbine" at a movie theatre.
• Which reminds me to reduce my cholestrol because I can feel my blood boiling (amazingly, my blood pressure is "perfect for my age"...thanks Dr. Dasa).

• America is right to be in Iraq.
• Bush is the most stubborn person I know, and because of that Rumsfield is still the Secretary of Defense, and because of that Iraq is a mess right now.
• My younger brother served in Iraq (and Afghanistan) and I lost one of my best high-school friends to the war in Iraq.
• America is right to be in Iraq!
• I do think a 5 week summer vacation was a too much.
• I think you are stupid if you think the president was not working at that time either.
• Clinton took 5 minute "breaks" in the Oral Office, oops I mean Oval Office and was still able to talk policy and make decisions on the phone. So I am sure that Bush can do that from his lay-z-boy.

• The mayor of New Orleans and Governor of Louisiana are more responsible than anyone for the fallout from the flooding.
• Why was their no supervision at the Superdome and Convention Center?
• Why were those 2 locales picked by the local leadership to be the safe havens and house those who neglected the "Get the hell out of Dodge" warning? Especially when they were no where near prepared to handle the masses and no one was in charge.
• Why could Florida handle 4 hurricanes last year (4 in a row, week after week) and nothing this close even happen?
• Maybe I overexaggerated. The mayor and governor were only half responsible, the other half falls to the 24/7 Mardi Gras lifestyle New Orleans has embraced and is so proud of. Hedonism, voodoo, and free will abounds and you wonder why they reacted the way they did when disaster struck?!
• The state of Michigan should stand up and be proud that we are housing refugees and survivors. Especially with our poor econmy and high unemployment rates. Stand up and be proud J-Gov!!!
• Unions are the reason Michigan is doing so bad economically. And J-Gov (our lovely governor Jennifer Granholm) is making it easier for them to ruin it.
• I could go on but I will stop.......

• Sean Penn is a retard!!!
• Tim Robbins is a retard!!!
• Oliver Stone is the biggest RETARD of them all!!!!!
• Kanye West does not care about anyone but himself

• I enjoy beer, the darker and more bitter the better (Guiness and German wheats).
• I once tried to brew my own, not the best stuff in the world.
• I do make my own wine with help from my uncle.
• Over 50 gallons last year.
• This year we are going for over 100.
• As I said before, I find there to be nothing wrong with drinking. Noah was a husbandman and Jesus turned water into wine (not grape juice or some other "Hebrew translation" beverage that was non alcoholic).
• Getting drunk is wrong.
• Yes, I have been drunk, and am not proud to say so.
• I do not qualify being drunk as having a .08 BAC. But I am not a milita member, and so I do not drive if I feel my BAC is at this level. Sometimes the government gets it right with their laws and this is one of them.
• Dancing is fine as well. David danced before God after many victories of war.
• I have shown my pastor my wine cellar and explained to him the "quick way" on how to make your own wine.
• I wonder if that private, very strict, Baptist High School would let me in.

So, as you can see I am somewhat opinionated and a little bitter sometimes. But these are things I feel and think at various times of the day and night. I am sure some of these things will change and I am sure my postings in the future will address these rantings and ravings I just went on.

Hopefully this will last longer than my failed journal attempts early last year.

Until then

Brian