Alex, I'll take "No Clue" for $1,000

My home computer is broke.

I have no clue why other than the hard drive is done and I need a new one. Going back to that whole "Arghhhh..." post from a month ago things kind of got worse with the computer. Had to do system restore a couple times and now finally it crapped out on me.

I also have no clue when it will get fixed. Evetually I'll make my way to Best Buy or somewhere and buy a new hard drive, but I've been busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest lately and as much as I am an internet junky it's almost a back burner item right now.

I've been able to hammer out a couple posts in the meantime:

This one

and

This two (too)

Which, to be honest, I had hoped would garner more comments and get some conversations going, but they didn't, and I have no clue why. Maybe they still will, but not right now. Which at this time may be better anyway, since lunchtime at work is my only free-time right now to "surf the web." Although right now is slacker Tuesday before the holiday afternoon and I am typing this one now.

I have a lot of things I want to touch on. But I have no clue what my next post will be and no clue when it will be. I have like 5 or 6 drafts going right now and the problem is a couple are old and I have lost some of the thought process I had going with them. Maybe I'll pick those back up, but I have no clue.

So I am kind of in limbo with the computer and blog updates. The week after next we go on vacation for the week to good ole' Traverse City (TC is by far one of Michele's and mine favorite vacation locales.) so it may take that long.

Hopefully I'll be able to conjure up some of the old drafts I have going on, which include:

• Things that crack me up (all satire)
• Country Music (I like I love it, I want some more of it)
• Gotta know..."Why I Stick with the Church 3" is in the pipeline
• Show off pictures of "Black Beauty" - (My Homemade Tennis Ball Mortar....sends a tennis ball about 500 yards into the air...built for under $20) who is making her debut to the public tomorrow evening for some 4th of the July Festivities at our Pastor's house in Wyandotte. Michele and Seth have already partook in the glorious resonance of loud explosions, blue flames, and the smell of lighter fluid exiting a tin can contraption at a rather extremely high velocity.
• Vacation pictures
• Detroit Tigers - 5 players and maybe 6 are going to the All-Star game this year!!!
• Detroit Sports scene in general - My 2 hour round trip commute puts me in contact with a lot of Sports Talk Radio in the area...
• My growth, limitations, decisions, fears, and overall outlook and progress of raising Seth to be the manly man all men are to be. Here, over here too, as well as over here, here again, as well as back to here, and absolutely, positively here too. Or if you just click here, you can get them all at once, but start reading at the bottom of the page and work your way.

Let's see what else.....

I have no clue what else. I have no clue if any of the above will make it ever here.

But be patient for the immediate future. For those that are regular just know I still check your blogs almost daily and just because it may take a few days here for updates, don't let that happen to your blogs. I need something to read, roll my eyes at, laugh at, nod my head with, agree with, disagree with, think about, and waste other time reading.

But as for now, I'm outta here, I've got to get home, I've got sun to soak up, beer to drink, and lots and lots of gunpowder and lighter fluid to go blow up in the nighttime sky (I love the little firework stores in Ohio).

Happy 4th of July and enjoy your summer.

GO TIGERS!!!!!

The Mourning After

So what happens when our character in this great big meta-narrative story we are in ends? We've served our purpose, done what was required and the Director writes us off the story? The screen goes black, the music quits playing in the background, and we are gone. Anyone reading this doesn't really know the exacts. But we do know what happens when one of the characters we love is no longer here. We know what happens to us.

************************************************

What is the first thing you did when you heard the news that someone you loved died? Did the hand holding the phone stop cooperating? Did the phone fall to the floor? Or did you? Did you fall silent? Or start repeating one word over and over and over, such as, "No. No. No."? Or was it relief you felt, relief for a suffering that finally passed? Were your reactions nothing more than learned responses? Were these reactions simply the summing of chemicals and electrical pulses? If so, then why did it hurt so badly? Why do we mourn the way we do?

It's not as if we get a crash course in these things. And we never get one when everyone around us is in good health and accounted for. There isn't a childhood moment where our parents anxiously sit us down to give us "the talk" concerning proper protocol for when someone close to us departs this realm we are all adventuring through. Death does not discriminate between those who are prepared and those who are not. The fact is, if we chose to participate in human relationship, eventally all of us, every single one of us will find ourselves standing in a church, a funeral parlor or next to a big rectangle hole in the ground, stuttering and stammering for the right words to say. And yet somehow, in those situations, it seems we all fall in line with a certain set of activites and customs, whether we have experienced them previosuly or not.

It customarily plays out like this:

• News is received and we are stunned
• A furious bustle of activity including phone calls, emails, red-eye flights, and 4 hour drives at 1am.
• Decisions, decisions, decisions, as a complex and choreographed funeral is designed.
• Flowers, cards, gifts, donations come in.
• A viewing
• A funeral
• A burial
• A memorial
• Everyone congregates somewhere for food
• Family, friends, the church, the neighbors make extra casseroles for the departed's family to alleviate the preparation of food in the coming days.
• Everyone tracks the families grieving process.

And that grieving process is important to all of us. Depression, guilt, anger, hope, etc. All part of it.

But there is also a whole list of rituals and traditions that transpire during observance of a death. We all share a common yet unspoken knowledge of how to act. These acts are referred to as "mourning." Just name a few:

• Wearing black
• Speaking well of the departed
• We all pat the mourner on the back and exert sympathy and some form of, "i am so sorry, this is so awful. At least they are in a better place."

Why do we do this?

Fear and awe, both in the same.

At the edge of life, between the living and the dead, between the material and the immaterial, there is unavoidable awe. Perhaps all this absurdity of tradition points to the simple fact that death scares us. It has always scared us. It is beyond our finite understanding, and the crazier these customs appear, the more deeply that reality can be felt. No matter how tighly packed our doctrine, at the edge of a rectangular hole in the ground (regardless of how many flowers surround it) there are leaks. It is then, more than at any other moment, that we see clearly how dimly we see.

It is now not the souls of those departed that we worry about, but our own. It is at the grave that our wonder begins. It is there that we need to believe in something more, something bigger and grander than our hands can touch (or dissect) or that our eyes can see (with or without magnification). It is there that we need all our notions of heaven to be real. It is our souls that need the comfort.

We go through the motions and rituals not because it is expected of us but because we are scared of the possible finality of it all. We do all of this to remember.

To remember.

What was the last conversation you shared? Your last meal together? What words do you wish had exited your mouth? What would you say now if given the chance? What is your most loved memory? When was the moment you felt closest? What were the things they'd get excited about? What makes you think of them? What do you miss the most? Wouldn't you rather feel this sadness, bear this weight, and mourn their absence than never have been touched by them?

Upon death, we hold a wake to remind us of how precious a person's life was. We order tombstones as a monument of love. We speak well of the departed because there is no use in speaking ill of them. We wear black to show that under the surface, there is a left an immense cavern. We are sad becasue something has been lost.

Lady in the Water or The Story of Our Lives

"Mr. Heep, it is time we showed people that some stories are real." - Young-Soon Choi

I am a very, very, very huge fan of M. Night Shyamalan. His stories are absolutely transcendent and earth shaking. But I wasn't always this big of a fan. We all know 'The Sixth Sense' and to most of us and everyone as a whole the movie is in the pantheon of all-time greats. It is a great movie but it becomes a member of the pantheon because of the ending. With 'The Sixth Sense', we were all blown away and then with 'Unbreakable' we all took a step back and were wondering if he reached his zenith with a little kid telling Bruce Willis he sees dead people. In all honesty it was unfair to expect Unbreakable to match The Sixth Sense in all components, especially in a mind-blowing ending that left the whole theatre gasping. None the less, Unbreakable is a good movie (the 2nd time around). So it was with much skeptisism we approached 'Signs' and then at the end we were ABSOLUTELY BLOWN AWAY!!! It was at that point I understood a Shyamalan movie needed to be watched from a spiritual view/angle. Not from a basic human need for entertainment. Not the basic, ok you need to suspend reality to get the movie. There's spirituality in all of his movies. An underground current of something greater is going on and we all have our part in it. There's a story being played, that is greater than ourselves, and we have our role. And it is a very specific role.

Up until 'Lady in the Water', all of his movies had that "twist" ending. The ending that you never saw coming that blew everything away. It's the reason you sat through 2 hours of crazy, supernatural, goofy, "where in the heck is this going" story telling. To be blown away at the end and leave the theatre enjoying the fact that your mind was twisted and turned and you walked out discussing all the scenes with your wife and wondering why you never noticed it before.

An element of that all changed with 'Lady in the Water'. The whole movie is the twist; the whole thing is crazy and blows your mind. This may be his most underrated movie. I thought the same thing of 'The Village' as well but Lady in the Water was lambasted and I think I know why. But before I get to that a little disclaimer....

This isn't a post to describe the movie to you or rehash the chronology of the movie. It is assumed you've seen the movie and know what has already happened. Obviously there are SPOILER ALERTS, but if you've never seen the movie, none of this will make sense to you and may actually make you more confused than ever.

All the characters in this movie are very real, very down to earth. They provide the comical element but the bigger fact is that almost all of them remind you of someone in your life. Paul Giamatti plays the lead character, Cleveland Heep, the apartment complex repair man. Not a great name for someone to grow up with, but in the context of a book or movie, a great name. Paul does a phenomenal job pulling off the character. It's a difficult character to portray. Playing someone who has a speech impediment and someone who is understated so much in his role but yet is the central character within the context of this story which is really the part of a much, MUCH larger story. Cleveland discovers that beyond the veil of his supposed mundane, dreary life is something much bigger behind that veil. A spiritual context that goes beyond the hum-drum routine of this life and world.

He is opened up to this world of Narfs and Scrunts and a whole vocabulary (The Blue World e.g.) that is odd and just plain sounds absurd to say them. Yet within the context of the movie you just roll with it. The fact that these everyday, comical, sometimes odd people in this one ordinary looking apartment all play a part in this cosmic narrative that's going on seems odd as well. To further put this story in our faces, the actual "Lady in the Water" is named 'Story' (a minor stoke of genius if I do say so). This Story is the revelation of the meta-narrative.

So, while the story is about the apartment complex and its renters, the real story is not about them. That is to say it's not about "man" it's much much larger than that. It isn't man against his environment as say in the movie 'Crash' or 'Babel' - which ends with no resolution to the problems and ills of the world. But a movie like this peels back a layer and exposes that there is something transcendent and cosmic going on that intersects with our ho-hum world and shows a lot of meaning and purpose to our ho-hum life.

And it all starts with a fairy tale. The world use to be this way and man went his own way and there's been a disconnect. And now things have been set in motion to get man back, to get it back to how it use to be. But the film doesn't end the story, what it does is provide a promise that things are set in motion and a savior is coming and the reconciliation of humanity. That's the story that we see. Not the actual salvation but the story up to. Even at the end, we see the eagle soaring above, but only from the reflection of the pool with the rain hitting it, so you do not actually see it. A stark reminder of the human perception, even in the Christian experience (1 Cor. 13, "Now we see but a poor reflection...until our reconciliation with God").

But this fantastic, mythical story/fairy tale becomes very real to Cleveland and the others. It becomes reality. At one point Cleveland comes face-to-face with a Scrunt. It is very traumatic as he comes face to face with something that can kill him. An actual being from this story. His eyes have been opened and all the cards are on the table. 2 Kings 6 gives a similar story. Elisha's servant is traumatized by the fact that the enemy has surrounded them. He assumes they are doomed. Elisha prays for God to peel back the veil and show him what is really going on. God opens his eyes and the servant sees the hillsides covered in angelic warriors on horses and chariots of fire ready to do battle on their side. There's more to this life this servant was living than what he could see.

And that is what this movie inspires. Is their a meta-narrative to our own life? Is their more than the mundane and does it have a deeper transcendent meaning? Is there a spiritual purpose? And a big part of the movie is that they have to swallow this story they are a part of. It's all real. They know there is more to this than just their life. So what logically follows this fact is, "What's my role?" in this meta-narrative? Do we have a cosmic meaning? And where the comedy comes into play is when the characters try to figure what their role actually is? Are they happy with the role they've been given or do they want to be something else?

We'd all like to be the hero, the protector, the guardian. Maybe we want to be Vic. Write something that changes the world. Maybe more than that, be the person who comes and speaks it, says it all. Changes the world. But that is the problem. We accept the story, we accept we have a part, but we want to be the center, not the sidekick, not the comedic relief. Or maybe we want to pick the part. And we see this played out in the film. They all try and fulfill what they think their roles are the first time, to an almost fatal conclusion. But if the narrative is to play out and happen, all parts have been determined and are equally needed and as important. And this we chafe at. We do not want to accept that things are already figured out. That the role we are to play has been determined. Even so far that's it been pre-determined when our death will happen. Most of us do not want our life defined for us. But when we submit and humble ourselves to that it actually gives us an empowering sense of purpose, duty, relationship, and love. Even Cleveland has to accept that his original thoughts of his role are wrong.

And all of these roles work together. They aren't for each themselves. These roles work together in a spirit of family. It isn't compartmentalized. They all need to work with each other and you can see the wonder within the characters as they realize their role and work together helping each other out. Who is the healer, who stares down the Scrunt, etc. As they figure these things out and realize their role, you see them become empowered, together. This is the tension in the second half of the movie. Who has what role? Are they going to figure it out in time? Will they all accept their roles?

So when we boil this all down, it is a very far-out, silly story. With silly names, silly characters, and a far-out plotline. Almost foolish.

Similar to the story of the gospel. God is the story teller and we've been given the Story. The Story of the gospel. We're stewards of this Story and all have our roles to be played to bring about the redemption and salvation of man. The Story provides the job description, what is needed to be done. We must recognize our role and accept what it is. And it all seems foolish. But when we realize the truth, when our eyes are opened, and we accept that truth, the empowerment that follows can take us out of the ho-hum and into the transcendent. Life holds no more vagaries. But only in the essence of the story of our life. The great big story will become clear when we behold God face to face.

M. Night Shyamlan definitely plays to the fact that their is a hand of providence over life. I am not sure of his religion or spirituality within himself. But I think that his constant element of meta-narrative, life has purpose and meaning and that our role is very specific to all of this is unsettling to most people. His stories and allegory are so far out there (dead people, comic books, aliens, narfs, etc.) that it becomes near foolishness to us. People dismiss his overtones and "message" because of how almost comedic his story-telling is. But it has to be, because it almost is.

Arghhhh...?

I hate Lebron James!



Since uttering those words Thursday night, Friday morning around 1am.....

Let's say the weekend was crazy.

We all know about Thursday night and LB effin J. Arghh.....

Well Friday night wasn't much better with the Tigers blowing a 4 run lead in the bottom of 9th by giving up 5 runs to the freakin' CLEVELAND INDIANS. Arghh.......

Then after the game, saying good-bye to the brother in law and sister in law, my computer starts to reboot and shut itself down constantly. Arghh.......

Brother-in-law is a computer tech-head for Quicken Loans though, he says the Operating System is still there but something has corrupted a registery or one of the start-up programs. He can fix it! So we disconnect the tower and the external hard drive we have and he takes all of that to his home friday night, he pulls out the hard drive, hooks it up to a computer of his (he has like 5 of them...he is a serious tech-head, but not the geeky kind that wears glasses and listens to Radiohead all night, but geeky enough that he goes to "Network Partys" where 5 or 6 dudes bring their laptops hook them all up to one big network and play games) backups what he can off of my computer onto the external hard drive and then does system restore.

Problem still though, he's going to Cleveland to watch game 6 and Michele and I are leaving at 9am to head up-north for my sister's High-School graduation. Michele works exclusively from home now with her job at Quicken Loans. Without the computer having the right VPN and Term Web application she cannot work on Monday and will have to go into the office. Arghhh....

However, Quicken tech support always has to have a person on hand just in case something (like this) happens. We find out that we can take the tower to the Troy office (which is on the way up north), drop it off and the tech person will upload all the necessary software. Sweet! It's on the way. But, can't take it there until after 11am. We want to be 2 hours into our trip up north by then. Arghhhh.....

Saturday morning, its 80 degrees at 7am already! Holy crap, the humidity. Load up the Ford Taurus. The AC isn't working. Arghhh......

Unload the Taurus, load up the 4 cylinder Contour and get ready to head up. We can't go over 70 but at least we'll have ac. Arghh.....

Arrive up north (after deciding since we're late, we stopped in Reese to visit the in-laws so they can see their grand-child) aroun 6pm. Roughly 5 hours later than planned. Arghhh..... (but the time at the in-laws was worth it and actually provided a good break. Besides, Seth rolled over for the first time, on his own, twice!!).

Armageddon type storm around 7:30 or so in Wolverine is showing on the horizon. Time to batton down the hatches. Storm hits, tree in backyard falls over. Dish Network Satellite isn't working and game is going to tip. Arghhh....

Storm eventaully passes, game is on, watch Daniel Gibson score 31 points, Rasheed plays his last as a Piston (more on that later), and I really hate Lebron James. Went to bed with 4 minutes to go in the game. Used the baby as an excuse...pathetic. Arghh......

Wake up Sunday, watch sister graduate high-school, very cool and very awesome. Decide to head out for home right away (it's 4pm). It rains the whole way home. All the way from Indian River to Detroit it never stopped raining, honest. Slow drive results in kid waking up in car seat screaming. He's hungry. Stop off at the grandparents home in Saginaw to feed Seth and do dinner. Get back on the road and not home until 11:30pm Sunday. Arghh.......

Hook up computer to check everything out. 95% of all mp3 files are gone! 7 years of downloading illegal music gone! Over 5,000 files gone! Arghhh.....

Let me take a moment to state that this may be the one and only time I'll admit my music snobberish. I hate it and I hate people who think they "know music." They claim what is good music and what is bad. No one knows that (except maybe Rick Rubin and Brendan O'Brien...maybe). The only bad music is rap (and that is the politics of it all, not the art form) and "critically acclaimed" is a joke in the music industry. I know good music when I hear it. I know crappy music when I hear it. My favorite song of all time is Just Like Heaven by The Cure. Favorite album of all time is The Verve Pipe - Freshmen. My favorite band of all time is Pearl Jam. Best concert I have ever been to is Kenny Chesny and Keith Urban (Urban opened for Chesney). The last CD I bought was Audioslave - Revelations and I already have on reserve for pickup on June 19 Icky Thump the new release by The White Stripes. I know music. But I will very, very, very rarely ever talk about that fact because music is for you and what you make it. What you like you like and I'm just glad you like music and know what it can do for you.

Anyway, that has been the last 96 hours of life. A big Arghhhh.......

But it has all been fun and worth it. It sucks having lost the music and some oher random files and having to load back up Photoshop and Office and all the updates from Microsoft. But we did get to travel up north safe and sound. We did get to see both parents, see my sister graduate high-school, and drive in an air conditioned car, even if we couldn't go 75-80 like we wanted to.

And of course, there is Seth

Masculinity? 6 - Be a Man!

COMPARISONS
"If I set the sun beside the moon,
And if I set the land beside the sea,
And if I set the town beside the country,
And if I set the man beside the woman,
I suppose some fool would talk about one being better."
- G.K. Chesterton

I've switched it up a little here from my original intention. I do not like the term glory-bearers. I get the impression and the meaning, but no-one really can carry God's glory. As fallen man, it isn't possible right now. The original intent was to go off Paul's writing in Corinthians and Ephesians where he very plainly lays out the fact that "man is the image and glory of God: but woman is the glory of man." As well, "so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands." I still will, but I changed it up.

How does this tie into me raising Seth into a biblical form of masculinity:

BE A MAN!

Having your wife submit to you doesn't me you walk around shirtless drinking beer, watching COPS, beating your wife, and watching porn. It's not keeping her barefoot and pregnant. It's not sitting around all day playing games. I would go so far as to say it is never being Mr. Mom, outside the most extenuating circumstances someone could ever endure! Being a man is not being macho, but standing up, having a backbone and character. It is working hard and making the tough decision. It's raising a family and not running when the going gets tough.

Being a man carries a massive burden. Boys must be instructed on how to grow up into glory and how to fulfill their responsibility to be representative, responsible, and holy.

I am not sure where sitting on the couch fits into that equation there? I am not sure were mom leaving the home to go work full-time to support the family fits in there? I am not sure where divorce fits in there? I am not sure where abusing your wife and kids fits in there? I am not sure where quiting fits in there? I can't see at all where effeminacy fits in.

I see where love fits in. I see where strength fits in. I see where accountability fits in. I see where the bare bones of the facts are, the health of the family and the church falls onto the shoulders of men. These distinctions are not made in the interests of winning some kind of competition. When the Bible assigns one kind of glory to man and another kind of glory to woman, our modern egalitarian bigotries prevent us from seeing that they are different kinds and levels of glory. Man isn't suppose to stand around when leadership and a decision needs to be made. Man abdicates his role when he waits for someone else to do so.

This is what I have struggled with as my son will one day grow into a man, leave Michele and I to fight the dragon and rescue his beauty. To start the cycle all over again. To be a man in his household who makes the hard decisions and stands up when they are wrong and fail just as easy when he makes the right one.

As a man, he carry's the glory of God with him. I want him to stand before God, in the worship of God, with head uncovered. Not cowering in fear, hiding behind a mask, and too scared to decide. It is a struggle for me, because I fail miserably at some of these same exact things I have been "preaching" about over the last couple of weeks. It is the struggle of man.

To conclude this whole series of posts....

I want my boy(s) to be aggressive and adventurous. To be patient and hardworking. Not just to hate evil but have a deep desire to fight it. Eager to learn and be wise. Stand up. Fight when its a must. Learn what it feels like to hold a weapon in their hand. Use their hands, and back, and masculinity to love his wife. Be her provider. Fight for her. Be an example of strength. Lead his family. Be a man.

And it all sounds grand and romantic and completey awesome until...









I want him to learn all of that from me. There's the rub.

Masculinity? 5 - Sages

REVIEW (Intro Pt. 2 , Pt. 3, Pt. 4): Continuing thoughts on masculinity and what is it. Through a lot of reading, discussion with friends and family, some contemplation on my part, and a couple programs at our church I am laying out a rough outline as I understand it and agree with some of the things I have read and heard and disagreed with others, ultimately forming my own opinion. Read the other parts and come back to the discussion. As a quick recap, we have discussed how Man was created to exercise dominion in the earth. But more than just conquer and subdue we have to make sure our world flourishes. God also commands us to settle down. Tend and keep. Patience and Hard-Work is a necessity to masculinity. And last time we looked at the need men have to save and deliver. Created in the image of our Creator, the great dragon-slayer, men carry a need for adventure and a beauty to rescue. Boys must learn they are growing up to fight in a great war.

SAGES - The sage is a man who is great in wisdom, and wisdom in Scripture is personified as a great lady. Sons are exhorted to constantly listen to her. As we look to the first part of Proverbs (1-9), we see that wisdom is a woman who disciplines boys. When a grimy little boy needs his knuckles rapped, she is the one to do it. If he heeds wisdom in her role as the strict school-mistress, he grows up to a certain measure of wisdom, and the lady wisdom becomes his patroness. And when a man has grown up to wisdom, he has become a sage. We all know the "cool old guy" who is quick witted, tells the best stories, and seems to have all the answers. Video games and TV aren't the reason behind that cool old guy.

We must therefore teach boys the masculinity of study, of learning, of books, of intellectual discussion. Too often we let boys drift into a situation where they pit one aspect of masculinity against another. When this happens, for example, a boy who naturally loves the outdoors can too readily dismiss software programming as effeminate, or, even worse, come to look down on poetry. Intellectual discipline, or as Peter put it, girding up the loins of the mind, is an important part of growing to manhood. Poetry is an extreme brought up on purpsoe because of the disdain it carries when used in relation with masculinity. Unfortunately poetry is not viewed as very masculine. That is unfortunate. All one needs to do is read the Psalter. Read 5 a day for one month, you'll have read through the book and you'll find adventure, love, courage, despair, hate, cowardice, and valor all together at one time. Most, written by a man who killed a giant with a sling shot at the age of 12. The actual King of Israel was shaking in his shoes and a 12 year-old harpist with a book full of poetry shows up and slays the giant. Masculinty.

But with poetry there are also books and reading...alot. And I'm not talking the latest and greatest "Leadership 101" and "Be the Best Manager Ever" or even "How to Live A Christocentric Life at Home, Work, and Church." Those better business books and the latest and greatest spirituality books have their purpose and work well. I am talking the literary classics. Shakespeare, Twain, Berry, Dostoevsky, The Red Badge of Courage, Grim's Fairy Tales, The Lord of the Rings, Old Man and the Sea, and Sherlock Holmes. Books and authors that immerse your imagination and inellect. Books with characters that come to life and teach life lessons. These literary classics are classics because when the book is done, you miss the characters and the adventure they took you on. You want more, there's a slight disappointment the book is done. As well, these books aren't one-time in your life reads and some of them can only be read with age and experience. Read Huck Finn to your son when he is young, let him read it again himself when he is 13 and encourage him to do it again at 20. See how different the story is to him, how he has grown up, how different he views Huck Finn. It is the same for all of them.

Reading is a lost art. Re-capture that.

But reading and homework and learning poetry isn't all. In boyhood, study looks suspiciously like digging a hole and then filling it up. There is an element of gamesmanship here too. Games like Chess, Poker, and Pinnochle can accomplish the same. These games remove chance and luck from the equation. The elements that bring you long-term, expected success in these games requires intelligence. The ability to process information, probabilities, next moves, and "read your opponent" all at the same time to produce a winning strategy doesn't happen playing Madden 07' or WoW and watching the Simpson. I know card games rely on the cards you have been dealt. But everyone at the table has been given the same chance and the options are limited to a finite amount. Your ability to figure out the odds and bet accordingly and play your cards accordingly is how you win. Anyone can get "lucky" a hand or two and catch a card on the river, but that success is fleeting and is gone the next time they play. Lessons can be taught around the dinner table whether there is a fork in hand or a Queen's bishop.


I'm not advocating that playing games and reading books requires a lecture throughout the time of the activity. Or that a review is necessary afterwards. I'm also not saying to teach a 3 year old the inner most workings of the chess board or the probabilities of catching a straight flush on the river, but don't be afraid to introduce it.

Game playing only goes so far. Do not substitute games for reading and poetry. Supplement them. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but rather painful. Afterwards, when life comes at you, you realize the effect it has had on you. Nowhere is this principle more clear than in the relationship of study in the early years to wisdom in the years of old age. And while the point is clear when we make it this way, it is not naturally visible to a boy who has to do a homework assignment when he can hear all the neighborhood kids playing stickball.

The connections must be made for him. Boys must therefore learn to be teachable, studious, and thoughtful. As well as learn to laugh at the Simpsons and look forward to the day he finally beats dad in Madden on a hail mary.

Next up - Glory-bearers ?

It's all for Me

We all blog for one reason...Me. I blog for myself. You blog for yourself. I read your blog for me. "What kind of crazy ass shit is Gary going to write about this time?" We just determine how transparent we want to be in our blogging and our commenting with others. No one blogs for others. Sure we may ellicit advice, ask questions, and engage each other over a blog. But it's still because we felt it was important enough to "blog it."

It cracks me up that people believe there are rules and guideposts to blogging. Are there rules and guideposts to keep your own journal or diary? Why should there be to blogging? Actually there are rules to blogging. What you, the author of the blog, set up as the rules. Everyone blogs differently. Some bore us with everyday tidbits and munitia of their trivial lives. Others wow us with their creativity and immerse us in awesome stories and charcacters. Some of us piss each other off and rant and rave. And all of us are "real smart" and post what we believe and why we believe it. Our blogs become our very own dogma and propaganda machine. It's why I also crack up when people cry afoul about dogma, authority, and propaganda on their blogs. All they are doing is spreading their own version of it.

And you know what.....FAN-FREAKIN-TASTIC GREAT FOR YOU!!!! I am happy for you.

I do it to and I love it. I like upsetting people and taking them out of their comfort zones. I like reading the frustrating comments my posts ellicict. It is creating the purpose I want it to. Drop the gloves, drop the borders, drop the walls and be honest. You hate church? Well I think you are being a baby because of that. You disagree? Good, let's argue over it (the word "conversation" jumped the shark a week ago...time you catch up). You hate the fact that I like George W. Bush as my and your president? (see how I bolded "you" to piss you off, I did it on purpose knowing full well it would irk you). Congratulations on forming your own opinion. You are human, you have the right. It doesn't mean I think any less of you. It doesn't mean I am not going to stick up for my opinions sometimes. And I expect the same from you. Tell me on my blog. If you make a good point and piss me off, I'm going to say "Damn It Toby, you got me", good for you. If I piss you off good for me. Listen, it's ok to have your feelings hurt because we bring up good points and argue over these things. If I make a comment to every response, deal with it. The blog is called:

MY PERCEPTION

I called it that for a reason, any guesses to what it means?

Also,

Get over the fact I don't blog everyday. I am not a "bore you with my trivial life" kind of guy.

I have a job that takes roughly 10 hours of my day bewteen normal work hours, commuting, and lunch time. I am married with a 3-month old child and I own my home. So when I get home from work, the work isn't done. And I have a life outside of blogs. I actually get together with my friends and family face-to-face and talk and argue over many, if not all, of the exact same things I write about here. There are 4 or 5 of us that are near legendary status at McCaffery's bar here in Lincoln Park for the lively debate and discussions we hold together. Sometimes bringing in "the townies" as well. What's more fun and way more cool? Going to an old Irish Pub and debating politics, arguing the narcissism level of Hemingway, how true is Global Warming, should you home-school your children, is hell real, how do you raise your boy to not be a sissy, guns, sex, rock and roll. Or typing on a blog, by yourself (maybe bitching to your wife about what Corey said this time, as she rolls her eyes at you) and then just sitting back and letting the "conversation" unfold?

What?

Typing thoughts..oops, I mean propaganda out on a keyboard only gets me so far. Human interaction and intimcy is what is needed. Sorry, I can't spend hours in front of a computer pounding out a manifesto everytime something strikes my fancy. Sometimes I find a few spare moments at work to do this. Very rarely I find time at home to do it as well. Friday nights and Saturday mornings about narrows it down for me.

I read a lot of good stuff by all the friends, people, and blogs I have listed to the right sidebar. For as much as I fire off comments there are more times I want to but just don't have the time. Scot McKnight, Steve McCoy, Michael Spencer, et. al have the time and profession to post all day long and think out loud on a blog and monitor their own comments and reply to comments and on and on. I do not. Actually, I don't want that.

Do not get me wrong. I want regular readers to my blog. I want to raise hell and argue over our life views. But it does me no good to hold back myself just to keep "readership." My goal is not to avoid hurting your feelings. But I do not want anyone to never want to read what I have to say. I'm too narcissistic for that, as are all bloggers. Let me say this too, being exasperated over your dogma and propaganda doesn't give me or anyone else the right to call names, but insuating you are being a child is not being done to offend you.

This blog is about me, your blog is about you. There's nothing wrong with that and it's ok. Outside of accosting me or my wife and family, anything you have to say is welcome here, but expect me to respond to it, and you may not like the response.

Get over it!

Masculinity? 4 - Saviors

REVIEW (Intro Pt. 2, Pt.3): Continuing thoughts and masculinity. Man was created to exercise dominion in the earth. But more than just conquer and subdue we have to make sure our world flourishes. God also commands us to settle down. Tend and keep. Patience and Hard-Work is a necessity to masculinity. Carpentry and gardening are included in this tend and keep. One great way to do this is to capitalize on the tree fort impulse boys have and build one with them. If you have newborns or infants (i.e., you have about 8 years before they can help build a tree fort) then practice, practice, practice now.

Saviors - Masculinity is an essence. In boys, that essence is craved for. And it can only be passed between men. Masculinity brings adventure and a sense of journey with it. Men have a deep desire to deliver and save. We have a beauty to rescue and a dragon to fight. Happily ever after only comes after spilt blood. Jesus Christ is our ultimate example of a savior. His deliverance was promised in the near beginning of mankind. Adam fails to grasp and use his masculinity and the serpent deceives Eve. God proclaims a fight for the ages:

And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel" (Gen. 3:14-15).

But there is a lot more to just this one scene. There is a lot of background to just this one story. Genesis is where we enter the story. A whole lot more has already happen. The world is already at war. The lines have been drawn. Evil is waiting to make its next move. Somewhere back before Eden, in the mystery of eternity past, there was a coup, a rebellion, an assisatination attempt. The captain of the guard rebelled against the Trinity. With a third of the angels, he tries to storm the actual Throne of God. God's answer? He draws his sword and thrusts it into the Enemy:

Awake, awake, put on strength, O arm of the Lord; awake, as in days of old, the generations of long ago. Was it not you who cut Rahab in pieces, that pierced the dragon? (Isaiah 51:9)

The whole lot of them are cast out of heaven and have landed with a gigantic splash right here on this ball of spinning dirt. And they are pissed off. Raging hell, literally, everywhere. Offering and carrying death in both hands to whoever wants it (Rev 12:12). They were not destroyed, and the battle is not over. This fight has continued and will continue until God, in his infinite wisdom, power, might, mercy, and grace, ends it. When his Son descends from heaven with fire in his eyes and a sword in his mouth, this war is over...not until then. Jesus Christ is a dragon slayer. God set it up that way and promised it. So to must men.

Men who follow Jesus Christ, the dragon slayer, must themselves become lesser dragon-slayers. And this is why it is absolutely essential for boys to play with wooden swords and plastic guns. Acting out the wars and living the adventure. Boys have a deep need to have something to defend, something to represent in battle. And to beat the spears into pruning hooks prematurely, before the war is over, will leave you fighting the dragon with a pruning hook.

But there is more just giving junior a plastic gun and telling him go play cops and robbers. Great stories of adventure, war, and extraordinary feats work as well in conjunction. Valor, courage, might, and brains. Stories of swashbucklers on the open seas and fair maidens in distress. If your imagination escapes you, take history lessons and great inventions. Examples of extraordinary acts by ordinary people. The Wright brothers, when read about and told from an adventure standpoint has it all. We'll ge into this element a little more next time.

The Christian faith is no way pacifistic. The peace that will be ushered in by our great Prince will be a peace purchased with blood. As our Lord sacrificed Himself in this war, so must His followers learn to do.

Boys must learn that they are growing up to fight in a great war, and they must consequently learn, as boys, to be strong, sacrificial, courageous, and good.

Next up: Sages

Catchin' Up

Man, what a week.

1 - It was Michele's first week back to work. Good news is that she works from home 100%. Oh, the blessing that is technology. Still closing million dollar loans in her pajamas at home. Gotta love that. The bad part is that even though we have some of the woman from our church helping her baby-sit she can hear Seth cry and for the last 12 weeks, se was right there for him. Now she has to finish the phone call or the email or the paperwork. So it has been a little tough on her getting re-adjusted to the new schedule.

2 - I was MIA with a fever over 100 degrees almost all week. Started Tuesday night and by Thursday eveing I was at about 99 degrees. Still, today I am feeling it. But much, much better.

So pile on me being sick and really not coming within 3 feet of Seth for 3 days with Michele working from home and she didn't leave the house once since Monday evening. So she needed to get out and did this morning. So I stayed home and watched Seth (he slept for 3 hours...man that was so hard to do) and was able to catch up on a lot of reading in the blogosphere, political world, and sporting world. As well as work some more on the masculinity series I am trying to tread through. As well, as a brand new lottery system. I'll lay that out at the end.

Tigers are back in first. Ordonez is crushing the ball, Sheffield is back. Some concern with the pitching staff falling apart lately. But do not forget that the Tigers have some young arms in the minors just waiting to crack the majors (Andrew Miller, Virgil Vazquez, Kyle Sleeth, etc.) They'll be fine.

Pistons are going to steamroll to the Finals. They'll probably lose one game, maybe 2 before the Finals. I'd put 50-50 odds on them not losing a game until the Finals. With Dallas out of the picture, the Pistons will win it.

Red Wings - the most underrated 1 seed ever. The "sports critics" give them no credit and claim they aren't grimey, gritty, and tough enough. But they've been the money line favorite in Vegas all playoffs long. You really want a picture of the sports world, look at the Vegas sports lines.

Imagine a June with the Pistons and Red Wings going for the championship and the Tigers battling in the bst division in baseball for first place. If you are a Detroit Sports fan, best time ever right now.

Here are some other great links I read today.

Scripture is all you need - an excerpt

However, the enlightenment, which he called "a movement of spiritual darkness," then so elevated human reason that it became the arbiter of truth and the final authority on all matters. The result was skepticism which led to naturalism and a corresponding suppression of the work of God the Holy Spirit as the illuminator of Truth. Subsequently, those who were considered the experts on Scripture were no longer humble people filled and led by God the Holy Spirit to live a life of love in obedience to Jesus, but rather rationalistic modern critics of both Scripture and the supernatural. According to Packer, the sad result of such subjectivity, where there is no truth but rather only one's opinion, is that my opinion only matters to myself. Tragically, as Francis Schaeffer predicted, subjectivism leads to despair because if there is no Truth and no answers to the great and perplexing questions about life beyond my own subjective opinion, then hope is forever buried.

Dinner is one of the most important elements to the family - a family philosophy Michele and I have been firm on from the beginning. Yes, we have already started it, somewhat.

An excerpt

The largest portion of these family meals was the best part of the day. I think we would all agree that not only was this important to the parenting process, but it defined our family and our relationships to one another in many ways. In my mind, I remember this as a special, much blessed time.

How did the family meal make for successful parenting?

We learned to talk to one another. Conversation is a hallmark of the Spencer family. We talk and we enjoy talking as a family. Sometimes the kids would fight over who was interrupting whom in a conversation. Considering where a lot of people are with their kids- cold silence- this was a good problem to have.

Seem slike Toby is feeling the same way as me lately.

Corey has been thinking way too much in the stillness of the night, he needs to get back to sleep and get it while he still can.

John Frye has a post on a book that is on my hit list this summer.

and

Gary's boy looks just like him, duh.

And now the new lottery. This would raise millions for the schools. Milions for the roads in Michigan and will probably piss a lot of you off.

First, you have to go here and read the story and watch the video to the top right of the screen

Here is what we should do in cases like this.

Hold a lottery everytime something like this happens. Each ticket is a buck or two. In this case, he hit the old man 21 times. There are 21 winners. Everyone who buys a ticket gets there names put into a huge hopper. You can buy as many as you want. They draw out 21 winners. Each winner gets one free shot at this guy. Now you can only punch him where he punched the old man. So in the face or arm. No where else.

How could that not be a winner.

It's been a great Saturday morning. Time to do some yard work. Maybe I'll get a petition started on the lottery thing too.

Masculinity? 3 - Husbandmen

REVIEW - Last time we looked at the role of Lords in the masculinity of men. Man was created to exercise dominion in the earth. We get a mandate from God in the garden, he re-iterates this after the flood and we get a spin on it at the Great Commission. We see this impulse in boys as they grow up and keep a sense of adventure and vision. Fathers need to channel and direct this energy to an obedient response. But there is more to just "lording" over the earth.

Husbandmen – Discover, conquer, subdue. Being a lord and lording over. Words that sound great in the realm of masculinity. It plays right into adventure and power. But if we stop at subduing and lording, extinction is only a matter of time. Man was created, not only to discover and conquer new worlds, but also to make those worlds flourish. The command by God to subdue carries a second part with it.

“the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep
it” (Gen. 2:15).

This second aspect means that men are created to conquer and subdue, and after this, to settle down. After man was created, God placed him in the garden to tend and protect it. Notice, the same man he gives dominion to is the same man he tells to tend and keep it. The easy part is lording, the hard part is being the husbandman of the land.

Man does not just build bridges and space stations. He must also tend and oversee the organic things which he plants there – gardens, families, towns. Home improvement projects (whether simple and small or large enough to be a remodel), working in a garden, and basic yard work are all opportunities for boys to excercise this aspect of masculinity. Whether it's carpentry, gardening, or landscaping; it's all the same: 80% care and common sense and 20% skill. You do not have to be highly skilled to make furniture, as long as you never lose your temper, plan carefully and practice, practice, practice. The difference between a professional and me? They cut joints everyday. That's all. Great lessons can be acquired by small boys in a garden. A rich farmer was once rebuked for having his sons work in the fields when they didn’t have to. His reply was apropos to this discussion. He wasn’t raising corn, he explained, he was raising boys.

Take the tree fort impulse we talked about last time that all boys seem to have. They have it, so go build one. Building a decent treehouse is really hard. It takes probably 2-3 hours after work everyday for a couple weeks and all day Saturday and Sunday both of those weekends as well. Cost would probably be a couple hundred dollars too. In other words, it's a job for dads. Most Dads work 60 hours at a job, why not 60 hours with your son in 2 weeks! And how much was the PS3 and Madden 07? The treehouse won't go out of date and its healthier. We are well aware of the satisfaction gained from nailing bits of wood to a tree, but for something that look right, is strong and safe, and will last more than just a few months, you need a bit more than that. And do not forget the skull and crossbones...it's a must!

Again this is a chance to channel energy and teach life lessons. It's worth the effort, the sweat, the cost, and even the blood. The whole premise whether it's a tree house filled with sons and their friends, or a fresh salad with home-grown ingredients at family dinner time, or a summer game night out on the new deck and patio, it's a thing of beauty. And that's the why just lording isn't enough. But there is more to this tending and overseeing the organic things, and unfortunately, too many Christians ignore this part of the mandate.

All Christians share a burden in our environment and should be “environmentally friendly.” Just like anything else, this can go to an extreme and be carried too far (Al Gore). Ideally, that line to draw is your own. But we have a moral obligation to tend and keep this world we have been given. Our command after the flood was to replenish. You can’t go too far “replenishing” if you suck the earth dry. Any good lord takes on the role of husbandman and tends to his fields, home, and family and makes sure not to kill them in the process. Boys therefore should be learning to be patient, careful, and hard-working.

Next Up - Saviors