9 lbs. 6 oz. 22.5" long 8:16 am 10-02-08

NOAH MICHAEL

Still speechless, just like last time

Born a week earlier than the due date, and 1 oz bigger and 1.5" longer than Seth (who was born on his due date)!!! To quote the doctor, "You made the right decision to deliver this baby with a planned C-Section."

Michele is a small woman at only 5' 3", Doc says no way she delivers that baby the normal way.

So Seth now has a big, little brother sort of

The Revolution continues!!!

Watch out world, couple little Maloney boys gonna be running around doing there thing!!

*TEAR-DROP(S)*

So, What Gives?!

No idea!!

With the New Year came some new changes at my job and the ability to surf the internet. Specifically, blogspot.com.

Here's the deal - I can read any blog hosted on blogspot I want. Including my own. Whew. Problem is, when I click to leave a comment, read a comment, Sign In or go to the Dashboard, I get the Union Pacific disclaimer page that says I tried to access a site that is banned for knowingly hosting pornographic materials.

No kidding.

95% of all my posts originated while I was at work. True, I took the ocasional time out of my actual work day to not work and rather blog, but I mostly did this stuff at lunch. Being that I get home from work around 6pm, I am not too sure when I'll actually have time to blog. Here or at the PoliForum.

Bummer.

Real bummer.

So that's where I have been. I've been observing and that is about all. I can't read comments, I can't leave comments, I can't post, I can't edit, etc., etc.

What this may do is push me over to Wordpress. I am going to see what happens there. If I am not banned, I be on the move!!!!!!

In other news, I finished 3rd in Fantasy Football this year.

Conservative Christian pt.3 is coming soon.

Christmas was awesome

New Year celebration was fantastic.

And today marks 5 years to the day that the hottest thing out of Reese, MI, Saginaw County, Mid-Michigan, Michigan, the Great Lakes Region, the Midwest, the U.S., North America, the Northern Hemisphere, and under God's green earth and little ole me said I do!!

I thank God for you everyday Michele and despite knowing all my shortcomings you have stuck with me and even birthed me a heir!!!! And you want to do it again too......

Let's hang a 0 after that 5, whatta say!!!!

Sick

The whole household. Seth has an ear and eye infection. Michele got a bit of the flu and I seemed to have gotten the middle ground. A high fever (101.3) and the aches and pains but at least I could keep food down. But talk about feeling helpless. I'm trying to be this big tough guy dad male macho and I'm watching my family travail in sickness and unable to do anything. I could barely pick Seth up and carry him to Michele when he needed to eat. But I'd feel 100% guilty if Michele went to get him herself, never knowing when she'd need to run down the hall to....well you know.

So that is why I was MIA Tuesday and Wednesday.

So here is a quick run down.

I lost this week in Fantasy Football, so I am playing for 3rd place. Which still results in winning money.

And no Last 5 this week and there will be none until after the new year.

Matter of fact, things will be very light around here until after the New Year. I have some posts already done and just waiting for me to hit "publish" so you'll get those and I'll let you know very quickly what happen this weekend to my fantasy team, but that's about all you'll get from me after Friday.

In the basement.....

I'm Brian A. Maloney and I approve this message.



I'll be in the basement the next 24-36, maybe 48 hours (maybe over the whole weekend) pounding out another manifesto because I have a blog and feel it is important.

I'll be around sporadically offering comments (as always), but stay tuned for the post tomorrow (or maybe Saturday or even Monday) on Fearmongering.

I know, I know, your all on the edge of your seat waiting for it.

Trust me, it won't be much, I have a tendency to disappoint the more I talk something up, just ask Michele, I'm surprised we even have a kid.

Come on I had to say it!!!!!

So, the hammering, sawing, cussing, loud obnoxious noises you hear will be me in the basement trying to create something with my hands....

And keep commenting on all the blogs, just because I may not be there as much doesn't mean you can't continue bashing me and calling me uncompassionate and heartless and an idiot for being pro-Bible, pro-Church, pro-Bush, pro-Life, pro-Men, pro-My Wife, pro-beer, pro Conservative, pro-Libertarian, pro-Country Music pro-Do the Opposite and believing someone else's dogma over your dogma.



So.....

In the meantime, enjoy one of these oldie but goodies from back in the day (which was written almost a year to the day...and not sure I've changed any. Good? Bad?)

Paid for by the committee to tell you I'll be out of the blogosphere for a couple days but around enough to make some basic comments when I feel like and then proceed to piss you off, and rile you up, but by being out of the blogosphere for awhile I can avoid having to answer all your comments until such time that I can come up with real cool quips, comebacks, and logical thought to combat what you said.

Poetry

Arghhhh...?

I hate Lebron James!



Since uttering those words Thursday night, Friday morning around 1am.....

Let's say the weekend was crazy.

We all know about Thursday night and LB effin J. Arghh.....

Well Friday night wasn't much better with the Tigers blowing a 4 run lead in the bottom of 9th by giving up 5 runs to the freakin' CLEVELAND INDIANS. Arghh.......

Then after the game, saying good-bye to the brother in law and sister in law, my computer starts to reboot and shut itself down constantly. Arghh.......

Brother-in-law is a computer tech-head for Quicken Loans though, he says the Operating System is still there but something has corrupted a registery or one of the start-up programs. He can fix it! So we disconnect the tower and the external hard drive we have and he takes all of that to his home friday night, he pulls out the hard drive, hooks it up to a computer of his (he has like 5 of them...he is a serious tech-head, but not the geeky kind that wears glasses and listens to Radiohead all night, but geeky enough that he goes to "Network Partys" where 5 or 6 dudes bring their laptops hook them all up to one big network and play games) backups what he can off of my computer onto the external hard drive and then does system restore.

Problem still though, he's going to Cleveland to watch game 6 and Michele and I are leaving at 9am to head up-north for my sister's High-School graduation. Michele works exclusively from home now with her job at Quicken Loans. Without the computer having the right VPN and Term Web application she cannot work on Monday and will have to go into the office. Arghhh....

However, Quicken tech support always has to have a person on hand just in case something (like this) happens. We find out that we can take the tower to the Troy office (which is on the way up north), drop it off and the tech person will upload all the necessary software. Sweet! It's on the way. But, can't take it there until after 11am. We want to be 2 hours into our trip up north by then. Arghhhh.....

Saturday morning, its 80 degrees at 7am already! Holy crap, the humidity. Load up the Ford Taurus. The AC isn't working. Arghhh......

Unload the Taurus, load up the 4 cylinder Contour and get ready to head up. We can't go over 70 but at least we'll have ac. Arghh.....

Arrive up north (after deciding since we're late, we stopped in Reese to visit the in-laws so they can see their grand-child) aroun 6pm. Roughly 5 hours later than planned. Arghhh..... (but the time at the in-laws was worth it and actually provided a good break. Besides, Seth rolled over for the first time, on his own, twice!!).

Armageddon type storm around 7:30 or so in Wolverine is showing on the horizon. Time to batton down the hatches. Storm hits, tree in backyard falls over. Dish Network Satellite isn't working and game is going to tip. Arghhh....

Storm eventaully passes, game is on, watch Daniel Gibson score 31 points, Rasheed plays his last as a Piston (more on that later), and I really hate Lebron James. Went to bed with 4 minutes to go in the game. Used the baby as an excuse...pathetic. Arghh......

Wake up Sunday, watch sister graduate high-school, very cool and very awesome. Decide to head out for home right away (it's 4pm). It rains the whole way home. All the way from Indian River to Detroit it never stopped raining, honest. Slow drive results in kid waking up in car seat screaming. He's hungry. Stop off at the grandparents home in Saginaw to feed Seth and do dinner. Get back on the road and not home until 11:30pm Sunday. Arghh.......

Hook up computer to check everything out. 95% of all mp3 files are gone! 7 years of downloading illegal music gone! Over 5,000 files gone! Arghhh.....

Let me take a moment to state that this may be the one and only time I'll admit my music snobberish. I hate it and I hate people who think they "know music." They claim what is good music and what is bad. No one knows that (except maybe Rick Rubin and Brendan O'Brien...maybe). The only bad music is rap (and that is the politics of it all, not the art form) and "critically acclaimed" is a joke in the music industry. I know good music when I hear it. I know crappy music when I hear it. My favorite song of all time is Just Like Heaven by The Cure. Favorite album of all time is The Verve Pipe - Freshmen. My favorite band of all time is Pearl Jam. Best concert I have ever been to is Kenny Chesny and Keith Urban (Urban opened for Chesney). The last CD I bought was Audioslave - Revelations and I already have on reserve for pickup on June 19 Icky Thump the new release by The White Stripes. I know music. But I will very, very, very rarely ever talk about that fact because music is for you and what you make it. What you like you like and I'm just glad you like music and know what it can do for you.

Anyway, that has been the last 96 hours of life. A big Arghhhh.......

But it has all been fun and worth it. It sucks having lost the music and some oher random files and having to load back up Photoshop and Office and all the updates from Microsoft. But we did get to travel up north safe and sound. We did get to see both parents, see my sister graduate high-school, and drive in an air conditioned car, even if we couldn't go 75-80 like we wanted to.

And of course, there is Seth

Creation 1 - Core Competencies

I've got a couple entries I'd like to do with Creation as the backdrop. A couple come as a result of contemplation and the experience of the birth and the creation of Seth and watching him the past month (yes it has been month already!). The other from a Life Group experience that took place this past Wednesday. (Life Group Update - Since the birth of Seth, Michele and I are no longer hosts and I no longer teach at a Life Group. A newborn kind of saps all the time and energy. But it has been refreshing and invigorating to leave the house on Wednesday evenings to attend a different Life Group.). These posts aren't going to be on Creation per se. But just keep it as a back drop.

********************************************************************
Seth is a newborn infant. One month old. He coos and and oohs and ahhs. He wimpers and moans and sometimes screams. When he is awake his head is always moving, his eyes darting here and there, his legs are always kicking and his arms are always flailing. His hands open and close and once and awhile his hand touches on his nose or his ear and it stops him and he explores it further as he squeezes his nose or runs his finger around his ear. He does not know much of anything. If he is warm, fed, and clean he is happy. He has an innocence that he carries with him. But he is not innocent.

On occasion he doesn't like going into his crib or getting "tummy time." He doesn't want his diaper changed or to sit in his car seat as we go to the grocery store. All he wants is for mom (and sometimes me) to hold him. To keep him in our arms. He has figured out already how loud he has to cry or whine to get our attention. How loud to cry to get mom to scoop him up in her arms and hold him. Usually, within minutes he is asleep. Half the time we put him down and he cries again, the other half he stays asleep until he gets hungry and wakes up. To an extent he's figured out how to get what he wants from mom and dad.

But he isn't competent enough to take care of himself and how to go about getting what he wants. He needs mom and dad to care for him and feed him and clean him up and scoop him up in his arms when he needs comforting and solace. Sometimes he is warm and clean and needs to be fed. Sometimes he is clean and fed but doesn't feel warm. Sometimes he is warm and fed but not clean. Sometimes he is all 3 but wants to be held close. The world is big and cold and scary sometimes. Seth, sometimes, just wants to be held close.

This brings me to the famous story in Luke's gospel about Jesus' teaching about the little children. I use to look at this story in a different light than I do now. I use to focus on the innocence of it all. As I hold my son in my arms or watch my wife feed him, this has changed. My mediatation has changed to competence and care

In Luke 18, a rich young man comes to Jesus asking what he must do to inherit eternal life. He wants to be in the spotlight. It is no coincidence that Luke juxtaposes the passage of Jesus and the chldren immediately preceeding the verses on the young aristocrat. Children contrast wth the rich man simply because there is no question of their having yet been able to merit anything. Jesus' point is: there is nothing that any of us can do to inherit the Kingdom. We must simply receive it like little children. And little children haven't done naything. The New Testament world was not sentimental about children and had no illusion about pretended innate goodness in them. Jesus is not suggesting that heaven is a huge playground for infants. Children are our model because they have no claim on heaven. If they are close to God, it is because they are incompetent, not because they are innocent.

Additionally, as I observe my son and realize the incompetence he has and watch him scream out for help from mom and dad and be happy as we provide care for him, I am reminded that my spirit cries out "Abba, Father"

The realization that I have an incompetence about myself that manifests itself many times and I scream out to my Abba, Father the fact that my Heavenly Father (and Mother...that's for you Corey) scoops me into his arms and holds me close. He cares for me. He is the competence my life lacks.

I am Seth laying in the arms or on the chest or sitting in the lap of God as he rubs my back and soothes my tears.

When I cry out to God, "Abba, Father"

He says

"I've already taken care of it all."

And I am reminded as he stretches his arms out and shows his love for me.

Still Speechless

Obviously life is at an all-time high right now. A newborn baby will do that to you.

But I do not know what to say.

The whole thing is too surreal. What do you say?!

As much as the baby just stares at me with those huge black eyes and looks to be in awe and wonderment and "taking it all in." I pretty much do the same thing when holding him.

Maybe we never really do grow up?!

However, it may take a couple more days (or weeks) or maybe one of these nights when he is up at 3 in the morning I'll write more, but I'll be back.

I've got a couple things rolling around in my head. They are related to Seth and to Music (coming off of the latest entry over at Corey's blog).

But really, I wonder who is being more perceptive or "taking it all in."

Seth

or me.

In the meantime, enjoy more pics (sorry I am partial)

BTW - The reason Michele has not been in any pictures yet is that she refuses to authorize me or allow her publicist to allow me to publish any that contain her until she "feels pretty again."

Um, hello!!!!!!!!!

9 lbs. 5. oz 21" long 12:38 pm 02-17-07

SETH ANDREW

Still speechless

There's no going back now

This is it.

It's been decided.

It's just a matter of what comes first.

If the baby doesn't come "naturally" by a week from today then the doctor wants to induce Michele.

The due date is the 17th, this Saturday, and a lot can happen between now and then, but we do have a definite "plan" now.

There is no doubt that this time next week life is forever different.

And I have never been more excited, anxious, scared, joyful, desperate, calm, frantic, eager, whatever emotion ever all at once.

And all for good reasons.

It's like another threshold I mentioned a couple week's ago. This is the last Thursday, and then it could be the last Friday, and then the last weekend, and on and on until nature takes it's course or modern medicine steps in.

Still in awe.

Threshold's

No poetic prose, no fancy metaphors this time around. Sometimes life just comes at you too fast. Besides, we all understand that life is full of thresholds. New born to infancy to kid to child to puberty to teenager to 16 to 18 to 20 to 21 to college graduate to first job to married to home owner to first child to 30 to 40 and over the hill to 50 to 60 to 65 and retired to 70 and eyeing down the 50th anniversary to 75 to 80 and who knows from there. So putting a cliche with a threshold of life seems....well cliched.

But today is one of those in between thresholds bewteen the big thresholds. Pretty much we all share in the big thresholds, like the ones I mentioned above. But the mini-thresholds are usually reserved for you and possibly those directly involved with you and the situation. You know, like New Year's Day of 1996 and I knew that this would be the actual year where I turn 18. Or December 1st of 2001 and I knew this would be the actual month in the actual year I would be a college graduate. These little mini thresholds that mean a lot to you but most people it is just another day on the calendar that signifies flipping their calendars over to a new month. But for you it becomes more real, more legit if you will, it's going to happen and it is coming fast.

And so today is one of those days, because today marks the actual month that Grace Luella or Seth Andrew will "officially" enter the world. The due date is the 17th and the doctor will not let Michele go past the 24th. So this is it.

A mini-threshold in direct route to a major, life changing threshold that makes life the beauty and magic that it is.

Update on My life

"I'm going to die someday." - Me

Not quite the glowing update you may have been expecting. But alot has been going on lately. Things/life has been so very fast for Michele and I over the last couple of months. No doubt the biggest reason is that we have a child that is roughly 5 weeks away from entering our household. Throw in the Holidays, which always move fast, and the phenomanon that we all feel that time is "flying by" and I think I have a grasp on what the speed of light feels like. This fact is compounded further since yesterday was Michele's and mine 4 year wedding anniversary. 4 years! Hard to believe. Additonally, in less than 2 weeks, I'll celebrate my 9th year in the 20s. Yep, that puts me on the front porch of 30 and knocking on the door. WOW!

But yet, Michele and I aren't even half way to a decade of marriage and even 10% to the magical number of 50. Also, I am not even half way to the retirement age of 65. So time appears to be "flying by" but is it really? There is still so much to go and so much to do. As my life reaches these milestones it actually becomes exciting to me. Something new is going to happen and I am going to be able to enjoy and do the things I like again. Some may say I haven't had my moment of self-realization or an "epiphany" like others. But I have, the first time I realized I was going to die.

Do not get me wrong, I still feel trepidation and my nerves go crazy when I begin to think about death and that more than likely my internal clock will hit triple zeros. Some nights it grips more than others. My breathing gets very shallow and my heart beats so fast, I feel it could explode. Probably on the verge of hyperventilating.

But so what. That's the what I want to get to...So What.

Many nights I stay awake contemplating death and realizing I do not want to die. Realizing that I love my wife too much and enjoy sex with her too much. Realizing I like laughing at funny jokes and eating grilled chicken slathered in BBQ sauce. Realizing I like sleeping in on Saturday mornings and rising early on Sunday with a hot, dark cup of coffee and a good book. Realizing I love my family and the family-wide reunions and get togethers we have. Realizing there are things I still want to do and enjoy for the first time. Hug my child, experience life as a grandparent, actually retire from work. Realizing life is good and I am fortunate to have such a life that I do not want to die, ever. But I still fall asleep, get up every morning and live another day in the life of Brian. Enjoying new pleasures and life milestones. Getting another day to experience life and get one day closer to some of things above I hope to do someday.

New updates to add to my life and share with the people around me I love and care for. New updates I can add to those same people's life by being a friend and being a family member and being a loved one to them. Maybe the threat of death is one of the greatest motivations to the how and why I chose to live my life.

And I am not sure that is a good thing, but is it a bad thing?

I do not know.

Christmas Essentials

First off, MERRY CHRISTMAS to all of you and to your families. A Happy New Year as well. As I mentioned in my last post, I really enjoy Christmas and the whole season lead up to it. A season that brings people together and allows a spirit of peace and love to infiltrate millions across the globe deserves to be celebrated. The traditions and signs and symbols, for the most part, have remained the same for many years and have been passed down through all the generations and just as I did as a child, soon my child will sing the same songs and hear the same stories and celebrate with all the family. But in addition to all of that, I hope to pass down a couple other "traditions" to the Holiday Season that I consider to be essential and look forward to every year. This is more than Christmas lights and Christmas carols and snow and the cold and hustle and bustle. These are essentials for me, things that I give serious consideration to whether or not I could make it through the holidays without.

The first item that kicks it all off for me is the Starbucks Egg Nog Latte. As my wife so eloquently puts it, "I'm afraid that you may be having an emotional affair with Egg Nog Lattes." From the first moment they hit the menu at the local Starbucks I am a way too regular customer that forks over $4 for a Large Egg Nog Latte. One day, someday, I may have to cutback as financial obligations change, but I may just include these seasonal into the budget to make room for them.

Of course, Egg Nog is also on the list. Thick, creamy, smooth, glorious egg nog. We have a Calder's Dairy store by our house and for $8 you can get a half gallon of the best Egg Nog this side of the Mississippi. It is so thick that when you throw a little Captain in it, you have to stir the bleep out of it to get it to mix together. When not gorging myself on the Latte, a coffee mug of cool Egg Nog at a precise 4:1 ratio with Captain Morgan top with a dash of cinnamon is the perfect ending to a Christmas Season evening.

Holiday movies are also a huge part of my enjoyment of Christmas. And nothing tops the list more than the Griswold's. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation continues the saga of Clark W. Griswold Jr. and his never ending quest to provide the quintessential, perfect family vacation for his lovely wife and his 2 children. This is probably my most watched movie. I can watch it anytime anywhere whether on TV or a DVD. We once had it on VHS and wore it out in just a couple years. Throw in the in-laws and Cousin Eddy and no man should have to put up with so much. This is a laugh outloud, have egg nog spurt out your nose hilarious movie. And it starts from the first scene until the last.

The second move is Little Ralphie and his unending desire to get his hands on an official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two Hundred Shot Range Model Air Rifle, with a Scope for Christmas. It is all the kid wants. It is also where the line, "Ohhhhhhhhhh Ffffffuuuuuuuuuudge" followed by the narrator (a grown up Ralphie) saying, "only I said THE word, the F, dash, dash, dash word." As well, as The Lamp! This is another must see for all and actually the older I have become the more I appreciate this movie for its meanings and sub-story lines throughout. I triple dog dare you to rent this movie (or better yet, catch it on the 24-hour marathon on Christmas Eve on TBS) this year and watch it with the wife and kids over Christmas.

Another essential is the overall smell of pine in the house. Usually this is no problem for Michele and I as we go to our local Christmas tree lot and buy a fresh Blue Spruce to put up in the house. But this year we passed as we have been remodeling the kitchen and our family room as become our storage space for plates, bowls, and glasses. So we have relied on Yankee Candle Balsam and Cedar Housewarmer Candles as well as Mistletoe Housewarmer Candles. Honestly, we have these candles burning everyyear at Christmas time, but now it is a couple lit at all times when we are home. These jars our highly scented and do an excellent job allowing the aroma to permeate the room.

This time next year, my one goal for Christmas is to be sipping on a Starbucks Egg Nog Latte sitting in my pine scented back room watching Christmas Vacation on TV with my wife and child next to me laughing and making memories to pass down to future generations throughout the years.

To live such a fortunate life.....

M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S

Updates Galore

October has proved to be a very busy month for Michele and I. We have had a lot going on. This post is to update on all those things and why my posts here have been few and far.

1) Obviously, the Tigers postseason run took up a lot of time. Went to every home playoff game and watched all the away games. Yes even game 5 of the World Series right up to the end and watched the celebration as well. Every Friday ad Saturday night (but the last one) in October was a Tiger game and we would go early to them as well and tailgate or do dinner downtown.

2) It is wine season and as such, there is somewhere in the proximity of 115-125 gallons of wine in my basement right now. A couple 50 gallon oak barrels filled and some 5 gallon glass containers filled with some leftover wine from the press. Some pictures below. On Saturday mornings (before Tiger games) my uncle and I as well as my brother a couple days and a couple friends were hard at work producing some vintage 06. The grapes were absolutely awesome this year and already tastes great.

3) The kitchen is in complete remodel mode right now as well. We have a new granite countertop being installed on Tuesday, November 7. We are also painting our cabinets and installing new doors. The kitchen is a real mess right now and looks horrible. We have no sink and after tomorrow night, no counter until the new one is installed. More pictures below.

4) I wrote earlier about the "baby's nursery" and jumping on that bandwagon (here is part 1 and here is part 2) and getting the room ready for the baby. Well, we got some furnitue in there and finished up all the painting and updates to that room too. Unfortunately, no pictures, yet. I'll get them up soon.

5) Tomorrow (Saturday) is the baby shower and Tuesday morning (before the new countertops go in) is the ultrasound where we will hopefully be able to find out the sex of the baby. Tuesday night is the first of our "pregnancy classes" at the hospital. Whew!!!

There has just been a lot going on and a lot more to go. Before we know it it will be Thanksgiving and then the Holidays. Followed up by New year. In January is our wedding anniversary and my birthday, plus all the last minute details with the trying to get ready for baby. Come the middle of February, everything changes.

So, I am still here, just very busy and I see myself spending more time surfing other blogs and reading what you guys have to say and commenting as well. Hopefully I find sometime once or twice a week to post something here.

Adventures in missing the moment

It doesn't matter the location or the reason or the event:

• A brightly lit, well decorated, jovial chapel filled with loved family and friends that changes my life forever
• A quiet, dark, sad funeral home that makes death a hard reality
• A drab, flourescent lit doctor's office that changes my life again
• A screaming stadium of 44,000 people that causes me to lose my voice.

I usually miss the moment. I do not mean that I do not see or experience what happens. I have all my faculties and know full well what I am doing and what I just witnessed.

What I mean is, it doesn't sink in at that moment. It is usually a hour, day, or week later. Something is said to me, or I say something about it. Stops me in my tracks. The light bulb goes on. It's where I have my "holy crap" moment and I realize:

• I am forever married to my one true love. I will be her provider and protector and together we will start a new family and live happily ever after
• I've just lost my grandfather to a 3 year horrendous fight to cancer or one of my best high-school buds to a mortar shell he never saw coming
• I am going to be a dad. I will have a daughter or son to call my own, to hold in my arms and watch them grow up. What Michele and I started out on 3 years ago is growing
• The Detroit Tigers are going to the World Series for the first time in 22 years, on a walk-off 3-run homer by my favorite Tiger.

See, it doesn't matter. Life, marriage, death, new life, sports. I have many more examples but these 4 tell the story the best.

My wife is often disturbed by my apparent lack of excitement sometimes. She doesn't like that I am too even kiel unless I am upset or mad. I assure her over and over that my excitement is leaps and bounds above anything. I try to show her the best I can. I have made some great improvements here.

But, none the less, for whatever reason, the moment doesn't hold the same excitement and emotional high or low I feel sometime after that moment has taken place.

I do get caught up in it, I hoot and holler and cry and laugh and hug my wife and squeeze her hand. But for whatever reason I am not the guy you would find crying in the doctor's office, much less a baseball game. My reaction is usually right on par with whatever everyone else is doing. If it is high-fives outside the stadium or a firm handshake and a congratulations from the doctor, then that is me. If it is hugging my grandma and shedding a tear on each other's shoulders or dancing with my new wife in front of our loved ones, that is me.

But my "truer" emotions always take effect with me later. Like I said, after it has sunk in. Something is said to me or I read the Sports section or a birthday passes or I find an old yearbook or an old email, or I wake up early one morning and my pregnant wife is asleep next to me, breathing softly, off in never never land dreaming of the life I hope and pray I can give her.

Then -- I get the moment...